INSIDE AVIE

I miss writing here!

2011-11-09T01:25:00.002+08:00

I miss my blog so badly! I will pour my words here after I've graduated, insyaAllah! I really, really miss you, my dear blog.

-marina-

Unromantisches Morgenland, aus dem Tagebuch einer Reise

2010-09-16T11:24:00.000+08:00

The Unromantic Orient (translated by Elma Ruth Harder) written by Leopold Weiss who later converted to Islam and become Mohammad Asad. He's a legendary to some of us who knew his life story. I've written a short intro on the dokumovie (documentary movie) about his journey to Mecca in my previous post.

Don't be fool by the title of the book nor the cover of this diary. It's more than just a diary, it has more informations than I've ever thought before just like I read "The Real Malays" by Sir Frank Swetenham.

It's about his view on Arabs, about the Palestine-Israel fate, the Balfour , the French conquest of Lebanon, about crusaders of the past, about gospel, glory, and gold, about Zionist, about the Arab's league, about Independence.

Understanding Arab is a bit hard for me eventhough I met them everyday and interact with them everytime i'm in the uni. We all have sceptical and trying to fight the stereotypes that people are labeling them. People who feeds us with what they want us to believe.

They do not know grief as what Muhammad Asad mention in his book. It is true from my two Arab friends from Yaman. If they're stuck in their projects or if they heard someone stuck in their work, they will say something comforting like " Don't worry. InsyaAllah (If Allah wills), Allah will help you. You'll work it out oneday. InsyaAllah." They will say that in a very,very comforting and easy and confidently.

There are many intersting facts about Arabs in this book that I've never cross before. They have their own witch doctor, the "Schechs" and they have Druze too.

The Schechs treated sick animals by piercing them with glowing irons to drive out the sickness in them. Sick people? They "burned" them also especially those who're mentally ill.

He also mention in his book that there was this fruit called Sabara which is the fruit of wild cactus. If you know how to pull of the prickly malicious skin, an orange coloured fresh appears and it is wonderfully concentrated, tasting cool and sweet.

This is a good book not just to understand a bit on Arabs mind and lifestyle but the best thing about this book for me is to be able to read through every pages and my mind can't stop wondering the years and the atmosphere of Palestine before this era.

:)

Muhammad Asad

excuse my english.

this is an old post of mine, just today got the time to post it in this blog.

The Old Raleigh

2010-06-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

I miss the time when we both cycled to the beach,

Up north of this small island,

you carry me behind his small seat.

Passed by the cemetery as wide as the eyes could see,

Stretching from this spot up to the green hill,

The highest peak on this small orient.

I miss the time,

when the cars gave away for us to cycle ahead,

when you had to stop near the Baobab tree to catch a breath,

when we reached the beach and it was hot and sunny day,

when we tried to catch some fish but failed.

I miss this time forever,

the quality time we spent together,

as you grow wiser and old Raleigh becomes older,

I wish one day I will be your carrier.

your daughter, Marina.

-another broken English poetry hahaha-

ps: I should be doing some calculation for my experiment tomorrow but I couldn't help it to write this piece cause it has been in my head since this morning. It was raining in the afternoon, and today's weather is just nice. Really damp and nice. I love the dampness.

Spring's Gift By Hamza Yusuf

2010-03-08T00:16:00.000+08:00

I envy the sand that met his feet

I’m jealous of honey he tasted sweet

Of birds that hovered above his head

Of spiders who spun their sacred web

To save him from his enemies

I envy clouds formed from the seas

That gave him cover from the heat

Of a sun whose light could not compete

With his, whose face did shine so bright

That all was clear in blinding night

I envy sightless trees that gazed

Upon his form completely dazed

Not knowing if the sun had risen

But felt themselves in unison

With those who prayed, and fasted too

Simply because he told them to

With truth and kindness, charity

From God who gave such clarity

His mercy comes in one He sent

To mold our hearts more heaven bent

I envy all there at his side

Who watched the turning of the tide

As truth prevailed and falsehood fled

And hope restored life to the dead

Men and Women through him found grace

To seek together God’s noble face

I envy the cup that gave him drink

His thoughts that helped us all to think

To be one thought that passed his mind

Inspiring him to act so kind

For me this world is not one jot

If I could simply be a thought

From him to God throughout the ages

As revelation came in stages

I pity all who think it odd

To hear him say there is one God

Or he was sent by God to men

To hone their spirits’ acumen

It’s pride that blinds us from the sight

That helps good men to see his light

He taught us all to be God’s slaves

And he will be the one who saves

Humanity from sinful pride

Muhammad has God on his side

So on this day be blessed and sing

For he was born to grace our Spring

With lilies, flowers, life’s rebirth

In a dome of green like his on earth

By Hamza Yusuf

Minggu lepas minggu maulidur rasul kat Uni. Meriah gak aku tengok. Rasanya before this tak pernahlak depa buat. Aku terjumpa tulisan Sheikh Hamza Yusuf kat website depa. Niat nak tulis poem tak seberapa aku sendiri malam ni terbantut otak tak stabil, jiwa jadi malas..nota Ames test bertaburan depan mata. Hehe..so maybe next time, when the right time comes, where the mood will appear behind the silverline of moonlight. Yes, aku merepek.

MUATH, BON VOYAGE!

2010-03-06T16:48:00.000+08:00

MUATH, BON VOYAGE!

There is a friend a grad student he was,
from Gaza he came for a special cause.
He brought along his American accent,
I thought he was Caucasian by accident. .

With his white WAP he roared the street,
his trademark was the sound of screech,
Proudly driving her all around,
every corner and every town.

Now he's leaving on the air plane,
crossing Petra, the olive land,
mark his journey stops in this lane,
submitted his thesis and viva in the end,

Forget the fluffy DNA calf thymus,
No more minor or major grooves,
Some pain staking experiments.
You have reached your accomplishments.

Keep this note as a seal of memories,
of the hydrogen bonding of friendships,
of the intercalative brotherhood in the lab,
of the electrostatic interactions assistance,
and of the groovy crazy you.

Selamat tinggal our dear friend,
May Allah bless you always.
Au revoir!

by Marina Maidin , 3.56 am, Thursday, Feb, 2010 / 11 Rabiulawwal 1431.

puisi utk sahabat, bukanlah satu puisi yang sempurna bahasanya.

Oh, My Literature Review on Angela's Ashes Not The DNA Binding Studies. Great!

2010-02-28T13:49:00.002+08:00

I am not a good reviewer. The way I tell stories to other people using my gifted high pitch vocal sometimes confuses people, that I've to repeat again sometimes. I have scattered mind and energy. So I get restless at times. Are you boverred? Ha ha ha

Husna asked me if I am free, not in my cell culture lab, not doing anything,I would spare my time writing a review on of our favourite writer, the late Frank Mc Court.

Frank's writing .

The way he wrote his story is different than in other book I read before. He wrote exactly, how each people from different ethnics pronounce english words differently, and when you read them, you can get the picture as if you're communicating with a real italian or a real irish with strong brogue accent. More over, you're from different continent and never encounter these kind of nationalities.

In " 'Tis ", the second book he wrote after Angela Ashes, there's a few essay inside a story. It's as if there are layers of stories. These stories are short but they're the compliment of Angela's Ashes stories, you will understand the stories more when you read Angela's Ashes first.

Ha Ha Ha, you can find that in his book to express laughing.

There's a song in a book, there's a poetry in a book, there's a story inside a story, there's a life in this book; Angela's Ashes.

On the book, Angela's Ashes ( and a few notes on 'Tis).

Frank's stories were not just a stories of childhood lived in poverty, where Protestants is not in good relationship with the Catholics, where most people lives in poor conditions, where faith in God is very important, where most children go to religious school, where the British was the master of Ireland,and where some of them have to line up at the St. Vincent de Paul Society to get some docket to make sure they be alive in the next day.

In Angela's Ashes you could see , that his father is a loving and caring father, and a patriotic too. However, he got drinking problem and he got he's own ego. Her mom was a lovely woman, who loves to sing and a very couragous woman. She didn't mind to ask for charity for the sake of her kids and she is very patrotic too.

Both of them came from different part of Ireland, with each family have their own sceptic perseptions towards others as Frank's father came from the northern part.

As I read this book, I realized that Frank sometimes wish other people to be his father. If you continue reading in the second book, "'Tis" you will meet few people who have he respect them as his father be it african american or white.

Despite that Frank and his family lived in poverty in Limerick but still you could feel that there a love everywhere in that family and creative imaginations to live up their life.

On religion and language.

I always fancy Ireland since I was small even though I don't know why. Was it because I watched so many cartoon showing the green fella with top green hat? Hmm..still I don't know why.

Some readers find that there're similarities between Irish and Malay. I wonder why, is it because it seems that the man loves to keep their feeling to themselves? For example, when you want to express that you love your mom and dad but too afraid to let it out. To express that feeling make you feel so shy. You just dunno how to show them you care and you love them. Hmm..

The thing that I could find the similarity is the language. When the British conquered a nation, don't you think , bit by bit our mother tongue or in the Malay case, Jawi is on the brink of extinction?

Besides the language factor, I think the similarities between these two nations are when it comes to the self esteem matter and religious value. From his story, he seemed to have a very self esteem but he built it up later in life. Some Malay have poor self esteem too, cause some of us always think others are more better than us.

The Malays always put religion, Islam on top of everything. Religion first, then comes culture. If the culture is agaisnt Islamic teaching, then the culture will be abandoned. Jawi is the prove of the Islamization of the Malays. Same case with the Irish as Frank narrated in his stories.

On Politic

The songs of Kevin Barry, Cu Chulain, and Roddy McCorley (Rodaí Mac Corlaí) , the Irish heroes in that book make me stuck with the Dubliners. Throughout Angela's Ashes, you can find lyrics of Kevin Barry, Roddy McCorley and few Irish folk songs and poetry.

These songs are not jut a folk songs, they are a patrotic manifestations of Irish people towards Ireland.

Conclusion

At some point of Angela's Ashes, you will cry and you will laugh. The first page of his book already made me laughed and I can't stop reading from the beginning hoping to find some laughters in his book. And yes, he never failed to do so.

It doesn't matter what others think about his book and his ideology, whether he's a secular or not. It's his life story that matters, his motivation, the strive of him to overcome his own timidity.
"Do what ever you want to do. Get it out of your sistem, you'll be happy when you die cause you've done the thing you wanted to do the most"- this is some of his words that I remember (not the exact word ) when I read his interview on the last pages of " ' Tis" at Borders few days ago. (yes, I have short term memory).

Go and read and enjoy all of his writings.
excuse my english today, cause while I am writing this post, my mind is devided between Ames test and Angela's Ashes. By the way, Husna, I borrowed again both of his book from the library hehe.
ps:/ some of the pics above I googled last month, sorry no link. Will update the link later,insyaAllah. and excuse my english! (as always)

The Dubliners - Roddy Mccorley

That's it!

2010-02-28T03:31:00.000+08:00

aku ni kalau buat part time kerja mesti sekerat jalan.
aku tak mampu nak teruskan sebab kerja aku slow.
aku bukan multi task punya orang.
aku tak reti buat banyak benda dalam satu hari.
tambah-tambah kalau kena duduk depan komputer sepanjang masa.
aisey, sudah2 lah. banyak lagi benda penting nak buat.
sepanjang hidup aku sebagai student, aku dah banyak kali kerja menaip.
hmm...mengapa aku rasa kerja ni seperti membuang masa?
mungkin sebab dalam otak aku ada banyak kerja lain yg lebih penting rasanya.
kerja masa depan.
projek aku la.

Huhu..

It's Now or Never!

2010-02-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

Rasanya aku dah kena start writing tesis.
Kalau tak tulis pun tapi still dah kena start cari bahan.
Walaupun aku tak tau apa akan jadi before boss aku pi obesi.
Adakah projek aku akan sama atau berubah?

Hmm..

Teringat kata seorang sahabat,

Kena berani cabar diri.

Bapa aku pula pesan,

serius dalam kehidupan , jangan main-main, focus habiskan master.

Aku rasa aku masih lagi di atas awan.

Kalau awan tu naik ke atas sampai tahap danger pun aku mungkin tak perasan.

Bahaya.

Angan-angan masih ada..makin tebal pulak tu. huhu..

Self-Quotes (2)

2010-02-23T01:08:00.010+08:00

a self-quotes by me,

In the still of the night, the sound of crickets took my mind off to ponders and reflects what have been happening in my life and the effects of people's attitude on me.

"As we grew up, we will always make mistakes.
We are human, we tend to repeat mistakes.
It's not a dejavu, but it just there, in us Human.
Learn from these mistakes and try not to repeat them too often."

"Dream as much as u can, make them your destination
Let people laugh at your dreams, be deaf and work hard, make them a motivation."

ps: I love the second quote.
excuse my omputeh, bila malam otak ligat berfikir, tapi bahasa akan kucar-kacir, baik melayu atau inggeris. harap maklum.

Oh, tu motivasi aku je tu.

2010-02-22T20:34:00.004+08:00

Hehe..hari ni lunch ngan boss aku.
Banyak jugalah pekara dibincangkan tambah2 sejak dia balik dari Cuba.

Dalam dok berbincang satu projek besar yg melibatkan kerja tetap di syarikat atau pun di uni ini,
boss cakap kat aku lebih kurang camnilah...

"Marina, u nak pi german kan...", aku sengih dan cakap aku nak jadi cikgu sekolah rendah, dua orang labmate aku sengih ja.

Sebenarnya, aku pun tak pasti masa depan aku macam mana. Aku tau ramai orang ingat aku gila german, cam aku ni mmg tau cakap german, dengar lagu german, semualah hal aku dari german. Huwaaa...tu motivasi aku sebenarnya. Maybe sebab aku belajar bahasa tu tanpa sebab dulu, then aku rapat ngan teacher aku kut, dan aku suka naik basikal.

Tapi sebenarnya, aku pun takla segerman dulu hehe. Pudar jugak kadang2. Ehm..mungkin utk melawat yalah kut oneday bila aku jadi kaya. Tapi untuk belajar tengokla dulu. Aku fikir kena realistik sikit. Tapi bila fikirkan balik, baiklah merantau, luaskan pengetahuan dan pengalaman. Kesusahan akan mengajar banyak perkara tentang kehidupan. Oh sebenarnya aku tak tau apa aku nak buat lepas ni.. yang aku nampak internship dan lesen kereta. lesen kereta penting dan cari duit poket.

Aku rasa aku akan kerja tetap bila umur dah dekat tua but aku harap aku kawen dulu ahaha.

yes, aku dah 26 dah lagi beberapa hari.

Kena fikir dah ni. Pelik, tiba2 rasa tua. Betullah kata Frau Mayr bila dia cakap awatlah kat sini 26-35 orang dah rasa tua?

Oh, mein Herz! Ich mag Deutschland! Immer! (oh, hatiku! Aku suka Negara Jerman! Selamanya!)

tu broken german tu.

pic: totally don't remember where i got it.
Tadi mak aku pesan, sesiapa saja cakap tentang Jerman lagi ngan aku, kata ja AMIN...

so next time, aku akan kata AMIN if boss aku cakap lagi. Thanks boss sebab doakan saya.

Sapa tak nak bos macam bos! Yang saya takut tak dapat bos macam bos dan bos satu lagi tu je lepas ni manatau...

Don't worry laf (love), you can always follow me on Twittah! (2)

2010-02-20T00:13:00.003+08:00

" A mother's love is a blessing, no matter where you go, keep her while you have her, you'll miss her when she's gone." -Teacher Man, Frank Mc Court.

TERIMA KASIH HUSNA SAYANG!
TERAMAT BERHARGA !
Cú Chulainn are meant for sharing.

Night is the best time to write poem

2010-02-19T01:14:00.004+08:00

I have coffee in my right hand,
I am listening to Billy talent, Saint Vernonika
This song makes them sound like Muse.
Yes, I am going to write a poem at night,
but not tonite,
cause I have meeting tomorrow morning at 10.

Market day in Limerick in 1937, some critics of Frank McCourt said his tale of poverty in the city was exaggerated-menurut bbc.uk

Don't worry laf (love), you can always follow me on Twittah! (1)

2010-02-04T11:45:00.009+08:00

Der Mensch als Industriepalast (Man as Industrial Palace)

Stuttgart, 1926. Chromolithograph. National Library of Medicine.

Fritz Kahn
(1888-1968)

Kahn’s modernist visualization of the digestive and respiratory system as "industrial palace," really a chemical plant, was conceived in a period when the German chemical industry was the world’s most advanced.

double stranded DNA has strangled my spaghetti-like brain loops-->refering to my experiments.

ps: mulai dari saat ini, quote akan jadi twitter mode.

Anugerah dari Husna

2010-01-31T19:12:00.006+08:00

Husna kasi anugerah "THE MOST WONDERFUL BLOG" then terus kena tag. Ini cara spam ni ahaha..joking only hehe.

Aku kena tulis 10 facts ttg aku or hobby, right.... Memandangkan aku dah lama tak buat kerja2 camni.. CAUTION: panjang gila memandangkan aku suka berangan... =)

sejak akhir-akhir ini, aku suka stalking dengan kawan aku masa online kat fb only kalau dia online baru kami start aktiviti buang masa ini. Bukan stalking sembarangan tapi stalking yg mempunyai ciri-ciri impian bakal suami yang mustahil untuk dikahwini pun sebab orang-orang seperti mereka ini tidak berada di sini. Sungguh sejuk mata melihat cahaya iman terpancar dari riak wajah mereka. Ya, hati ku sunyi tapi aku rasa ada hikmahnya sebab otak aku serabut jadi lebih baik tak payah . Lagipun aku tau aku takkan jumpa orang2 seperti yang aku nak. aku pun kena tengok diri sendiri balik juga dan kena tengok sekeliling. =)

sejak akhir-akhir ini, aku banyak berfikir benda lain selain sains. Aku teringin nak bermain alat musik. aku teringin berpuisi di Penang Little Market, aku teringin nak berpuitis semula walaupun english aku tunggang-langgang. Aku teringin menjadi seperti Dawud Wharnsby Ali atau seorang kak yg aku tengok kat website norwich, england buat sajak dengan skaf cotton melilit kepalanya. Aku mungkin bukan Zee avi atau yuna sebab suara aku tak boleh langsung layak menyanyi. Aku nak jadi busker, aku perlukan team camni!

sejak dulu lagi aku tak tau bawa kereta. aku belajar naik motor tapi rasa nak demam bila bawa tepi kereta. aku harap ada keberanian belajar bawa kereta lepas Master ni. Umur dah tua baru nak belajar naik kereta hehe. Buat masa sekarang, aku happy naik bas. Bagi aku, eloklah untuk aku naik bas dari bawa kereta sebab at least masa naik bas aku boleh tidur, dengan muka terpenyek ke tingkap bas. Nasib baik tak berdengkur atau drooling. Lagipun masa dalam bas lah , satu-satunya masa aku guna untuk baca buku yang tidak related dengan sains untuk pastikan aku tidak tidur dalam bas.

aku bukan seorang yg kuat atau tabah. Mungkin ya sebelum ni kerana aku lihat mak pak aku masih mampu mengerah keringat. Semangat aku tidak seutuh dulu, "iman" study aku juga tidak setebal dulu. Aku terlalu risaukan mak pak aku. Kadang-kadang aku hanya mahu berhenti. Pak aku tak larat dah tangkap ikan sama juga mak aku. Aku pun sudah tidak segila mendalami banyak ilmu seperti dulu. Dulu aku mungkin gila mengaji, semua benda nak tahu. Sekarang dalam otak, mahu habis sahaja dan kerja.

aku nak simpan duit pi Mekah. First pi umrah, get used to it. Then, pi sana naik basikal dari Turki,boleh?

aku nak merantau ke negara UK (sapa tak nak pi sana, angkat tangan!), masa kat UK aku tak mau duk ngan orang m'sia. Aku nak duduk ngan orang mana2 negara lain yang muslimlah ...ahaha (gelak2,sila-sila aku tak marah). Then, aku balik kampung aku kat German tengok adik ipar kat Freiburg, then mak mertua kat Munich (sila gelak cam orang gila, aku tak marah..). Then, aku nak pi Macedonia tengok ex aku ngan anak dia. Then nak pi Turki tengok abang ipar aku yang kawen ngan orang sana. Hehe..wow bestnya berangan.

aku ...ehmm kering idea sat, aku ...nak my own yacht and my own clothing line..who am i kidding? hehe..aku suka fesyen bohemian ( ok..aku tak tau fesyen apa tu.) ehmm aku suka fesyen minah2 sufi yg convert sangat2 cantik dengan kain cotton, then skirt yg corak2 cam india sikit, then gelang2 then anting2..ok untuk anting2 aku kena ada lubang kat telinga. so did u get one point about me here? the crucial point?

aku suka adventure. Macam kerja gila buat ngan husna tu, pi KL naik keretapi sangat2 best. aku sangat2 suka buat kerja camtu. Aku rindu time sekolah dulu boleh lontar bom busuk ammonia, lontar belon air kat kawan-kawan dan achik bas sekolah. Conteng baju sekolah bila dah final year...lah kalau tak sure mati ngan mak . Aku tak suka ada restriction selagi benda tu tidak memudaratkan sesiapa atau menyalahi undang-undang Allah .. Aku suka ada peluang untuk ekspresi diri. aku suka art dan budaya orang lain. Aku tak suka undang-undang tak masuk akal. Aku tak suka orang restrict atau kondem orang lain punya kebolehan walaupun dia baru nak asah dah kena kondem. Aku tak suka orang pandang rendah kat orang lain. Satu contoh yang senang, " Eh, dia cantik ke? aku tengok biasa je" katanya sambil mencebik. Aku cepat panas hati orang cakap camni. Satu lagi, bila orang cakap kerja seseorang itu tidak professional sebab dia tak cukup equipment. Mula aku panas hati, tapi aku diamlah..opps panjanglak. hehhe

Aku sedar sekarang walaupun aku suka benda2 kemanusiaan (bosnian genocide escpecially) ini aku masih menyukai sains dan aku berharap satu hari nanti aku nak buat roadshow sains untuk kanak-kanak sekolah rendah dan menengah. aku juga harap mereka yg istimewa juga dapat sama2 bermain2 dengan sains..bukan nak ajaq depa buat bom. Kalau boleh aku mahu mendalami ilmu islam ( ilmunya banyak bukan takat yang diajar kat sekolah biasa cam kita attend dulu2) dan juga ilmu sains (ilmu kimia dan pharmacology-more to buat2 ubat anti-kanker). Selepas grad, aku nak belajar tentang sufism dan economy islam. Aku nak tau apa tu burda lebih mendalam dengan maksudnya. Aku tak islamik sebab tu bagi aku benda-benda ini penting. Orang barat cukup suka sufism dan menerusi sufism majoriti masuk Islam juga. Kat library kita kurang buku2 macam ni. Kalau kat UK banyak pulak. Aku harap banyak buku-buku ini dialih bahasa ke BM. Aku tak boleh baca buku Bhs Indonesia sebab pening. Translatelah terbitan Zaytuna Institute US ke or Bahr Press UK ke wahai DBP, kalau takmau aku leh translate kan...or aku nak baca buku Murad Hofmann gak...huhu tapi dalam German dalam BI takda kat sini ( ada satu buku tengah order but then cam dibatalkan saja huhu). Aku excited aritu tengok Quran terjemah English oleh Aisha Bewley ngan suami dia. Tapi tak pinjam hehe..kat rumah versi BM pun tak baca habis.

last, at last, marina nak berhenti mengarut dan telah lari topik dari facts/hobbies jadi angan-angan. THIS IS FACT: Aku nak mencari lelaki yg memperjuangkan sesuatu dalam hidup ( no wonder aku tak jumpa till now) , seorang yg kreatif, seorang yg beriman, seorang yg mementingkan keluarga, seorang yg tidak tua, tidak amalkan poligami, seorang yg mempunyai budaya (sebab bagi aku adat itu penting.Terlalu penting), seseorang yg suka berdebat ( bukan politician or datukship ahaha), seorang yang berilmu , tidak suka cakap nonsense, tidak garang, benar2 memahami islam ( tidak seperti banyak lelaki kat luar sana ahaha), seorang yg suka adventure gak, pendek kata..aku hanya boleh bayangkan lelaki camtu saja dalam otak aku sepanjang masa dan setakat ini aku tak pernah jumpa lagi ( ok except sorang tu sajalah..huhu). Camne nak cakap ek, seorang yg nampak cam easy going but really religious ( tapi bukan tabligh hehe). Adoi tak tau nak explain. Aku boleh bayangkan saja. Doa sajalah sebab aku pun bukan bagus sangat..wait aku mention pasai jodoh dua kali dalam tag ni..hehe bear with me lah.

Ok itu sahaja..tak nak tag sapa2 sebab orang yg rajin baca blog aku dah tag aku dah.

Till then,

Marketa Irglova Glen Hanansard - If You Want Me

Gogol buat Husna

2010-01-28T22:28:00.009+08:00

Aku buka akaun Tumblr
Memang best sebab banyak gambar dan quotes yang best.
Aku tak post apa2 hanya follow beberapa tumblr-linas (aku teringat thumbelina).

Husna pernah mention pasai Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol pada aku tapi aku tak pernah cari pun. Novel dia pun aku baru terjumpa dua saja kat library 1 level 2. Sejuk pulak tengok muka dia ahaha (it's not because my heart is lonely).

-kisah aku-

Kadang-kadang aku rasa otak aku macam slot motherboard computer tambah-tambah bila aku sakit kepala (aku mudah sakit kepala sejak akhir-akhir ini), lagi aku sakit kepala, lagi aku baca benda bukan subjek aku. Kemudian, bila boring aku akan baca benda projek aku balik tambah-tambah pulak hala tuju aku dah carca-merba sejak akhir2 ini. Aku rasa macam ada tangan robot , masukkan slot2 tertentu di sebelah kiri kepala aku dekat dahi.

Ah, sakitnya (bila fikir projek).

Tadi "abang long" (panggilan utk labmate aku yg paling senior) dia kata, "marina, how are u. Wow, u look so happy! " Aku bengang...sambil tersenyum aku cakapla..
" I may look happy, smiling all the time, but in my heart and mind only Allah knows."
Then dia cakap, "Sabar-lah!" ahaha

Ya, aku sedihlah muka aku ni tak boleh ke tunjuk yang aku tengah sedih sebab gigi aku dengan automatik akan tersengih apa jua situasi.

Oh, Ya Allah. Tolonglah hambamu ini untuk tidak mengulang lagi eksperimen bermula dari hari isnin nanti. Permudahkanlah perjalananku.

Amin , Amin ya Rabbal Alamin.

Yusuf Islam ( Cat Stevens ) - Be what you must

-ending lagu ni sama ngan intro shamsia di bawah ni tapi versi cam lain sikit, aku suka intro tu!-

Till then!

Broken Hard.-geddit?

2010-01-27T23:29:00.005+08:00

I break my english when my eyes are sleeping.-geddit?

Self-Quotes

2010-01-27T10:45:00.003+08:00

Dengan peghaknya aku nak post kat sini,
dua quotation remarks yg aku rasa happy bila aku baca byk kali.
Biasalah orang cam aku ni mudah jatuh cinta dengan perkataan.

There are more important things in life, rather than a scroll of Master's Degree. Look around you and appreciate it. Don't take things for granted.

&

Thinking process will damage your body.

Intro Shamsia by Yusuf Islam

Jiwa Kacau (1)

2010-01-24T12:49:00.008+08:00

How to create stories out of my compounds?says me
We must create stories says he
It's gonna be a bad stories says me
We'll see says he.
I knew it will be a bad stories till the end says me.

Jiwa aku sudah mati dengan projek ini.
Otak aku kosong gara2 compound tak tentu hala.
Aku takda mood dah nak belajar tinggi-tinggi.
Dalam jiwa aku hanya tersemat,

satu perasaan huru-hara.

Aqualung-Can't Get You Out Of My Mind

Muslim and Race Identity

2010-01-03T11:41:00.007+08:00

When you hang out with your non-Muslims friends, sometimes you must be wondering what do they think about you. In your stylish Lebanese hijab style wrapping your head, hiding your black coloured hair or you've just coloured it with your favourite colour, purple cause there's no discipline teacher gonna do a spot check anymore!

I've asked a friend once, what does he think? He said I'm trapped!

Well, that's one good example.

After reading 2 chapters of Islam in Britain by Nabil Matar, I've came to one humble conclusion (pardon me it is wrong).

Sometimes, people like to judge a religion based on race. The best example is being a Muslim.
If in Malaysia, for the eyes of fellows non-Muslim Malaysian , they conclude that being a Muslim means adapting the Malay culture and lifestyle.

Globally, people may think that being a Muslim means being Arab.

But during the Elizabethan (1558–1603) and Jacobean era (1603–1625), being a Turk was being a Muslim. Conversion to Islam was conversion to Turk. The culture ,dressing, names , and many more.

Muslim=Turk (1558-1685)

Labeling Islam with Turk because of the superiority of the Ottoman Empire during the era. In Malaysia since Malay Muslim is the dominant Muslim race in our country, so people assumed being Malay is being Muslim. For the Arabs as you all know, Islam was born in Arab country, the "national language" for Islam is Arab.

I guess, that's all for now. Who knows maybe later, being Muslim is being Indonesian since they have the biggest share of Muslim population in the world.

Till,then...

My two penny worth shares.

Excuse my English,

Marina

Islam in Britain

2009-12-30T23:35:00.005+08:00

Sejak aku ditakdirkan berpisah dengan bos lamaku (ecece nada sedih), aku jadi seorang yg berbeza sedikit dari dulu. Aku jadi seorang yang rajin membaca! Membaca bahan yang tidak ada kaitan dengan bidang aku pun. Bermula awal bulan 7 tahun ini, aku rajin membaca buku cerita ala autobiografi , tu pengaruh Husna dan juga buku-buku ala sosio-antropologi.
Saja, menambah ilmu.

Aku rasa sejak dari awal tahun ini, aku jadi orang yg mahu membuat sesuatu yang aku hendak buat dan selama ini tertangguh. Aku mula nak menghargai segala yg ada kat sekeliling sebab hidup ni sementara sahaja.

Aku mahu meneroka dunia lain selain dunia aku sekarang ini. Maka, setiap kali aku pergi ke perpustakaan, aku akan terus meluru ke tingkat dua dan mata aku mula mencari-cari buku yang interesting.

Bermula bulan 7 itu sehingga pagi tadi, aku telah menghabiskan 6 buah buku. Hahaha

Yalah, bukanlah suatu yang membanggakan bagi si ulat buku, tapi bagi aku suatu pencapaian yg membanggakan sebab aku tak pernah buat camni. Selalu berkepit journal dan buku kulit tebal sains. Bosan juga kadang-kadang.

Aku tak buat review buku2 tu, kalau nak tau pasai buku tu kontek lah aku..hehehe..tapi terima kasihlah kat husna sebab dia rajin baca buku cheryta.

Ahaha..dalam kesibukan lab dia masih boleh membaca..
Aku? What-a-nerd!

Tadi pagi, selepas aku selesai membaca buku Frank Mc Court bertajuk " 'Tis" di dalam bas, aku terus pulangkan buku itu dan menggantikannya dengan buku ini,

'ISLAM IN BRITAIN'-review later okey. Baru baca introduction dalam bas. Quite interestinglah sebab cerita dahulu kala kan..zaman Elizabethan era. Zaman Empayar Usmaniah masih kuat. Kalaulah kita sekuat dulu. Caution: baca buku ini seperti baca journal yang telah di-binding kan.
Chapter introduction mengejutkan minda aku, sebab masa tu ramai pelayar inggeris jadi hamba abdi bila ditangkap oleh orang Islam dan majoriti masuk Islam. Sampai ada pihak meminta Queen E membantu melepas mereka ni sebab majoriti masuk Islam lor..hehe..

Aku ingat nak pinjam buku "Orientalism" oleh Edward Said, tapi buku tu dah lama, kuning dah pages dia dan hancur dah pun..lerai muka surat tertentu..ahaha tak jadi.

Aku sedar aku tulis nak tulis review tapi tak tulis lagi hehe..lepas gradlah aku tulis review.

Lepas ni, kalau orang tanya macam mana compound A boleh tembus DNA? Aku jawapla pada tahun 1558...tersebutlah kisah...(menguap!)

-wah tajuk leh kasi hits tinggi ni. ahaha

Where do we go from here?

2009-12-30T00:05:00.004+08:00

I've been wondering, scouring my lonely heart.
Asking God for guidance, begging him (sometimes) to ease this burden and make this life easier than before.
I keep asking why my path is like this? Why is it so hard while others are easy.
Why?
At this moment, I can just pray and delete most of my hopes and dreams and be ready to face the fears alone.

well...

Don't give up yet!

U're a dreamer but you believe that you can make your dream come true!
U just need COURAGE, like what you're doing now.
Don't think about other people so much!

My life is a bit different...
My life is not easy since childhood years,
cause it is blessed with ADVENTURES till now.

continue your adventures series now!

Up,up, up, and away!!!

Shoooooooooooooosh!

Plan-Pelan (1)

2009-12-27T22:23:00.007+08:00

Ich habe Pläne, große Pläne!

Plan,plan,plan...pelan (perlahan, bagi mereka yg bukan dari utara) terus.

Hari ni aku melawat bestfren aku di rumahnya. Dia baru dapat baby boy, Muhammad Yusuf Darwysh.

How time flies. She's on the jet plane and I'm still in my hot balloon. Slow mo..

Dia grad dulu dari aku.
Dia kawen dulu dari aku.
Dia beranak dulu dari aku.
Dia kerja dulu dari aku.
Dia semua dulu dari aku .

Which is good..frankly, I have no problem with that. She's my bestfren ..so no problemo.
But I could see my mom really worried and her mom too.

Aku tau hidup aku terlalu slow..tu tag aku dengan safuraa masa undegrad dulu, "Kita slow mo...."

Sekarang ni aku rasa aku punya hidup slow sangat-sangat.
Terlalu banyak cabaran sepanjang 2008-2009 ini.

Aku pun makin down..
Semua member dah tengah writing, bagus sekali.

Sekarang aku sendiri pun tak tau arah aku.
Semua tanya apa aku nak buat lepas ni, apa aku buat sekarang ni.

I'm thinking to work with UNESCO!
Teringat cikgu saripah sekolah debate team dulu kata kat aku, "You shud become a lawyer"
Tadi pun dengan kawan-kawan yang melawat bestfren aku tu sendiri cakap, "Hang, mai tang BM dan sejarah memang no. 1!" kata puteh..ketua kelas aku masa kat sekolah menengah dulu 4 Nilam. Dia tambah lagi, "KIMIA...!" ahaha Kimia? Sejarah aku tau aku bolehlah..

Ahaha beranganlah hang ooi...

Dah bosan dok dalam lab, banyak sangat benda kat sini membuatkan aku rimas dan penat.
Aku rindu nak tengok manusia normal diluar sana.

Bestfren aku tu cakap, "Hang akan kawen ,if ang berubah!" dah dua kali ayat yang tu keluar sebelum dia kawen dan sebentar tadi.

Maybe I need to be more feminine kut...ahahaha entahla tu..amik masa.

Aku suka dan teringin nak pakai cam budak normal pompuan pakai..like something glitter, make up, rings, dan baju yg fashionable stuff like that. Tapi takleh..aku suka gaya husna dan arix dan aini..semua pandai bergaya.

Aku tau ramai sedaq aku tak pernah pakai baju kurung ke Uni. Sampai si Babu dari India tu pun sedaq sedangkan aku jarang terserempak dengan dia dan cakap, "U never wear baju kurung, right?" Orang kat bendahari pun cakap camtu kat aku..aisey lama sangat kat sini bosan aku!

anyways...i must stop my whining now before it gets worst.

nanti aku ada masa aku buat luahan lagi.. ahaha...sorry guys.

I'm a good whiner!

ps:/ baru tgk iklan kerja UNESCO hehe...tapi takda peluanglah.

Tayar Pancit

2009-12-14T21:09:00.003+08:00

Tayar pancit kata su kepada aku tadi.
Memang tayar dah pancit sejak akhir-akhir ini.
Tayar lain pulak yang jadi ber-double layer. =)

Haa...pancit lah sudah.

The ilm'

2009-12-11T00:11:00.006+08:00

"Mengejar ilmu seperti mengejar dunia, kadang-kadang tercicir ilmu akhiratnya."

"Chasing knowledge is like chasing this world , sometimes you will eventually abandon the knowledge needed for the after life, even if it's not a whole , still you will loose a handful of it."

-siti marina maidin-

Apoptosis of life

2009-12-04T10:36:00.003+08:00

Whoa..what a title!
Apoptosis-programmed cell death
I also don't understand the term apoptosis,cell death, necorosis.
Some terms that have been wondering through my brain loops.
Yes, no layman term for this post.
All oncology ( cancer-logist) urban words.

I am going to start digging my grave this month. So will my families in chemistry school.I'll start spending my time in my lab during weekend. Good luck to all of us! May Allah helps us!

My mom always talks about her leaving us.
Sometimes, when she kept saying it a lot especially when she got the asthma attack.
Sometimes, when my little brother and me make a lot of noises cause we always fight.
Sometimes, when she mad at my dad stupid jokes who loves to sing the national anthem, and stand besides her everytime my mom use the inhaler. I know it looks funny sometimes. My little brother will join my dad, and he will sing the National Anthem.
Today,
She gave me her bank account number.
She has been telling me that she wanted to give me it to me but I never take it seriously and sometimes just ignore her cause I don't think it's important.
This got me thinking, my mom really follows the saying, " Leave today as you're going to die tomorrow. So do good deeds today!" ( ok , i added the last phrase).
I always think about death but I am not prepare ( or well prepared) like my mom.
She's religious than me .

Well, we're going to die anyway. So, I have to pass this blog to my little brother and my little sister. My password is ....

Playing Safe

2009-12-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

stumble upon here

Decision making is not easy for me especially when I think I can do something that I really passionate about, But I am afraid that if I give up science and do something else that I like, it would turnout the other way around. I am going to miss science and hate the other road that I choose.
Playing safe, I guess.

Cakap omputeh itu susah.

2009-12-02T23:23:00.005+08:00

Sudah lama aku sedar,
aku susah nak cakap bahasa inggeris apabila berdepan dengan orang yg tahu cakap Melayu
or at least ada basic bahasa Melayu.
Otak aku tak boleh memproses data-data bahasa Inggeris,
Aku jadi kelu, dan mulalah merapik meraban..

Semalam aku pun tak tau hujung pangkal apa yg aku merepek depan supervisor aku dan labmate aku (orang arab).
Sampai dia pun lost. last dia bawa keluar buku protokol dan suruh aku terangkan..
Aku pun blur jugak. Aisey..tak reti nak sampaikan apa yg aku nak cakap.
Kadang-kadang tak keluar dari mulut ni ha..hehehe graph aku pun tak sama dengan labmate aku..
guna stern-volmer equation di asas oleh dua orang di atas.

Hehe hati happy

2009-11-30T23:37:00.004+08:00

Wow..aku benar-benar menghargai Dr ni dengan email beliau seperti dibawah setelah hampir beberapa minggu tidak email aku untuk aturkan pertemuan kedua dgn supervisor aku.

Salam:
Saya masih tak lupa ttg kamu, cuma saya agak sibuk sedikit, lebih2 lagi sbb pelajar PJJ dtg utk intensif. Will contact u bila saya agak free nnti.

Aku amat berminat nak buat computational chemistry atau apa saja ttg komputer takpala..lihat nanti macam mana.

Harap supervisor aku free ...

My blog is in a book

2009-11-29T22:07:00.007+08:00

My blog is in a book!

It is! Can you believe it?

One article from my blog is in a book. It is in 'Tropical Affairs: Episodes from an Expat's Life in Malaysia', Robert Raymer's latest book page 160. He was a creative writing lecturer in USM before. Now, he's teaching at UNIMAS. Maybe some of you might know him especially those who took creative writing class or those who always went to USM language centre, up there just to the get some fresh air and the beautiful view of Penang Bridge.

Robert Raymer has published two books 'Lovers and Strangers Revisited' and the latest one is 'Tropical Affairs: Episodes from an Expat's Life in Malaysia'. His works also have been published in many magazines and books.

Check out :
Website:http://www.borneoexpatwriter.com
Blog:http://borneoexpatwriter.blogspot.com
Blog: http://thestorybehindthestoryoflsr.blogspot.com/

If you guys haven't read 'Lovers and Strangers Revisited' yet, go and grab that book, and read "On Fridays" just to get the feel of it and then you guys can decide whether to buy or not. Trust me, you guys gonna love it. The way it was written, it will take you to the scene of the story!

Lovers and Strangers Revisited (MPH publishers) also won The Star Reader’s Choice Award 2009! Wonders why? Go and grab the book, then!

Don’t forget to get “Tropical Affairs: Episodes from an Expat's Life in Malaysia” too! Ahaha not because a piece of my blog is in that book but to read a story of an expat, someone that we always saw in the university but we never knew that that man who walked among us is a writer!

So what are you waiting for, visit your nearest bookstore!

you can also:

Order an autographed copy: http://www.borneoexpatwriter.com/contact.php
Order from MPH online : http://www.mphonline.com/

Master is not easy!

2009-11-29T21:48:00.002+08:00

I just want to finish my master and move on.
I don't want to do PhD yet.
I want to take a break for a year.
I want to meet people ,different type of people from different cultures.
I am getting old and I'm not interested in staying in USM for too long.
It's 7 years already.
I need to get out of here.
I want to change my field for a year.
Then I'll decide whether to continue doing science or just take a break for a while.
I love science , not that I hate it.
But still I want to take a break.
I need to explore other options.
Allah knows what best for me.
InsyaAllah.

Tak mahu jadi katak dibawah tempurung.

testing

2009-10-13T14:32:00.000+08:00

ghghghg
oiopop

book in the making-perhaps?-parte 1

2009-10-09T11:21:00.004+08:00

Procrastinate is a good thing! That's what I've been telling myself lately. Sometimes, you're not that prepared to enter the lab-to do your experiments for hours. The devil inside keep telling you "Why do you have to waste your time doing lab work when you are not sure what you're doing? And you will have to repeat again and again..that's " Sometimes, the devil is right too. I wonder how many times i entered my flouresence room but not sure what the hell am I doing in here. Just follow the method I was taught by my senior but understand nothing.

I was lost again today. I don't like to stay in my lab because it's too carcinogenic. My two other friends don't mind. "How can you guys stay here, surfing the internet, and reading you journals?" I wonder. "Hmm..I dunno, maybe we're immune! Our noses are blocked!"

I always not in the lab if I am not doing anything even to read journals. I would go to the library. My beloved place. I've been in that library for 7 years now.

My craze with photostep machine never stop. I went to the second floor of library and asked the lady ( well we asian call sister) to photostep few journals rolled in my hand. She looks at me and smile. "You're still here, eh." I just smiled and nodded yes! I am here! 7 years already in here! I said to myself. I asked her, "Why sis, you know me?" I know usually I asked this to certain people who seeem to asked me this question. " Yes, I used to see you here but then I've haven't seen you for quite a while. Then, I see you again. Are you continuing ur studies?"
" well, yes a ha ha ha". I wish I could tell her how bored I am but then she will say why don't you go to other uni? In southern part on this blessed country and I will have to answer cause I prefer to stay close to home and if want to go far to study, i rather go aboard..cross the sea which would be impossible as I don't have enought pointer to do that.

As she handed my photostep journals, i thanked her and walked away. I realised I've been here in this library for too long. There's another library just across this library. I've never been there accept just to go to the underground level of that building to scores some exam paper. 7 years and I've never touched that place. I heard stories that it is a nice place because from the 3rd floor of this library, we could see the beautiful view of hills while on the 3rd floor ( my favourite spot) of the first library we can only see building..tall building, apartments..which at nite is beautiful with orange lights we could see from this spot..i my imagination will start running, creating stories as if my house is that one green apartment with orange lights at nite!

Oih...anak dara malas.

2009-09-07T00:53:00.005+08:00

Ni dah cukup 4 hari aku tak pi U. Satu pencapaian yg tidak boleh dibanggakan!

Melampau sungguh. bukan aku buat apa pun kat rumah. buat kuih raya tak tahu ..alasan biasa aku guna, takda microwave. Hehe...

Aku makan banyak sampai supervisor aku tegur kata takda perubahan badan bulan mulia ini hehhe.. aku kena siapkan grant tapi sampai sekarang aku terkapai-kapai. Letih gamaknya, dah 2 minggu aku tidur tak cukup dok pulun buat grant.
aku dah jadi asyik dok download main game adventure..tapi aku kena cepat sedaq..takleh main2..tadi semua game aku download aku uninstall terus simpan..nanti lepas grad baru main ahaha... aku selalu pegang buku DNA -drug binding tapi tak baca..pegang , peluk...
Buku cerita yang sebelum ni aku postkan kat blog dah habis baca, sekarang dah laju baca buku baru tulisan Frank Mc court bertajuk Angela Ashes.

Apa nak jadi ni?
oh ya dua hari ni aku ketagih belajar photoshop camna nak built website sendiri..
tak pandai tapi bolehla aku dah tau nak guna sikit2..aku dah tau nak buat butang search ahaha.. ni semua gara excited aku jadi editor/webmaster blog lab aku hehe..

Ya Allah, takleh lalai. Kena usaha start esok! Kena amik lesen dah marina ooi..lesen motor aku aim..kereta tak da duit nak beli. Heheh..OKla kawan2 terchenta..all the best di dalam lab ittew ..

Salam:)

Take a break..

2009-08-18T00:39:00.006+08:00

Have a good book and a cup of hot çay (teh-turki).

Add some mint into the tea,
Stir slowly, gracefully,
clockwise then anti-clockwise.
Rhythm of the Zen.

Change the aroma.
Soothing the tense atmosphere,
Abrupt from the thesis deadlines.
The unfinished al-chemie experiments,
Stuck as always.

Take a break,
Relax your mind
Get away from this "cunning" world.
Procrastinate for a while

*review buku ni later tak habis lagi baca. Tapi jangan baca buku ini semasa anda makan nasi or minum teh sekalipun..terlalu tragis.

excuse my omputeh,
avie eicca o9

Satu: cubaan habiskan buku.

2009-08-12T00:16:00.006+08:00

Aku tengah berusaha menghabiskan buku The Real Malays tulisan Frank Swettenham. Setiap hari usung ke U jarang sentuh..aku la ni kerja tidur dalam bas saja..penat. Tidur yang teruk sekali if aku terlalu penat .

Peluk saja buku tu tapi tak baca habis lagi. Aku nak huraikan pun aku tak tau. Yang aku pasti, aku tak dapat bayangkan kehidupan melayu ketika itu. Memang feudal sistemnya. Cina memang rajin..itu yang aku dapat lihat dia nyatakan dalam buku tapi ada juga komen yg berasas mengenai perwatakan orang cina yang datang ke Tanah Melayu ketika itu. Kelemahan Melayu juga beliau ada nyatakan. Apa yang dia tulis tentang permasalahan Melayu memang masih wujud sehingga ke hari ni. Tapi tidak semua apa yang dia tulis aku sokong, terutama beliau kerap menulis tentang Melayu sebagai pengikut Mohammadan. Satu terma yang byk boleh kita baca dari buku2 zaman di mana Islam masih lagi sebagai agama misteri. Pemikiran Melayu masih kolot ketika itu..terutama percaya kepada tangkal2 untuk merawat demam. Tangkal-tangkal amat laris. Melayu ketika itu sanggup menghabiskan wang untuk membeli tangkal dari pawang-pawang terkenal. Tidak jauh bezanya dengan Melayu sekarang, masih ada lagi yang percaya kepada benda-benda tahyul.

Ada satu cerita di dalam buku beliau di mana beliau menceritakan seorang gadis melayu kacukan arab yg dibesarkan bersama-sama orang besar British. Perwatakan dia memang berubah tidak seperti wanita melayu lain di zaman tersebut. Perwatakan ini telah menyebakan masalah kerana pemikiran dan corak kehidupan yang lebih ke arah barat. Lebih outspoken, dan dalam kes gadis ini, lebih ke arah tidak menerima takdir atau redha ketentuan Ilahi. Maybe aku elaborate laterla k or even better, aku linkkan buku ni kat internet..boleh download free.

Nanti, insyaAllah.

Cubaan khatamkan buku DNA bindings yang berlambak kat rumah ni!!!

btw, inilah salah satu tulisan yang paling merepek pernah aku tulis..hehe..

Life_09

2009-08-07T23:28:00.003+08:00

For all my great buddies in all departments of School of Chemistry,

I am happy in Chemistry School.
I am happy cause I've got to see all ur faces everyday in your labs.
I am happy sleeping and praying there.
Studying and eating on that table.

Meeting you guys make me happy!
We've known each other more than 4 years and some less than a year.
Sometimes, I am afraid that after all these, I won't see you guys again.
I'm here alone again.
No more laughters from all of you.
Being "laser" and such to each other.
Watching you guys working very hard has catalysized me to work harder.
Watching some of you, sleeping/ burning the midnight oil in the lab just to finish up ur thesis..Respekt.

I am not good at showing my love and care towards u guys,
I may not come to see u in organic department soo much.
But I am happy, truly happy.
I remember, even when I'm in other school, u guys still asked me to join ur lab party.
I really2 appreciate it.

I love when every morning, I will bump into anyone of u, and say Hi to u guys, wave to u guys.
Got to see Prof. Seng, smiling in the morning as he usually does.
Boost my energy to face my life in other "county".
I love chemistry school toilet!
Clean...nice...ahaha

I love all lab assistant and makcik and akak kerani..and not forgeting one Dr that I really respekt so much.

Words are not enough for me to tell u how much I am happy to see ur faces every morning and everyday!

All the best with ur Masters!

excuse my Inggeris.

Bas itu sudah pergi

2009-07-26T18:55:00.004+08:00

Bas itu sudah pergi,
Mari kita mula hidup baru.
Bas akan datang lagi,
Jangan biar ia pergi sekali lagi.

ahaha ok..aku mmg tak pandai buat sajak jenis ni..hampa pun tau kan.

Arranged -the movie

2009-01-21T22:17:00.004+08:00

Aku suka tgk cerita macam ni.Tak kisahlah bahasa apa pun. Mengenai hubungan antara manusia, yang tak sama bangsa dan agama.Terutama apabila melibatkan dua agama yang memang tak serasi ini. Cerita ni seperti suatu antropologi minda.Mencari persamaan antara kita yang kita sendiri tak tahu dan cuba menjadikan keserasian itu sebagai satu titik permulaan persahabatan.

Bact An

2008-10-12T23:29:00.003+08:00

Bacteria 'An'- before she washed her hands. White spots are the bacteria.

Bact 'An' - after she washed her face. The green circles show that there are still bacteria on her hands.

An- is a homo sapien junior - subjected to be "bullied" by seniors in the lab.
I went to wani's lab, while she was doing her TB bacteria culture? ( ahaha i dunno the terms, as I am not familiar with microbs field).

Motive= Just trying to release my tension life. I went to the microb lab ( of course after I've set up my experiments) just to try culturing TB bacteria- just one sample.. and I've got fever after that. I think, it's because of the raining season and has nothing to do with TB., hopefully...and I am still sick while writing this post.

Self Determination

2008-10-10T01:20:00.002+08:00

I think in a day a scientist/ chemist should do more than one experiments. The minimum is two experiments per day. If just one experiment per day, I don't think anyone could achieve his/her target before deadlines. Especially when you need to "pen-fight" with PhD students to get slots to run NMR or anything related with the NMR machine for characterization of your products- to make sure , the products are actually the thing you need REALLY BAD to pursue next synthesis.

Tired! Yes, I am. But I have to confront myself- A SELF-CONFRONTATION.

Tak Puas Raya

2008-10-06T00:47:00.004+08:00

Esok dan utk 2 bulan ini, mmg kena struggle. Kena siap bahagian introduction +lit rev. Huwa...tak puas cuti..rasa tension sangat2. Tension kejar deadline. Rasa sesak dada. Rasa mmg akan jatuh sakit lagi sekali bulan ni. Macam bulan lepas. Kena gak kuatkan hati. Lepas ni dah kena daftar, dah kena apply segala fellowship or GA.

Alangkah bestnya ada kamera. Ehmm..takda jadi kena guna webcam tarik wayar dia or kena bawa laptop satu ari tangkap gambaq guna webcam sambung kat laptop.

Kena upgrade pemangkin. Ingat Uni tu catalyst aku sekarang utk berusaha sungguh2.

Doakan aku.

where have you been?

2008-10-01T00:31:00.004+08:00

Where have you been, marina?
In the lab.

Do u sleep in the lab?
I wouldn't dare to sleep during my working hours (9.30 am-6 pm)..my boss might catch me.

Why haven't you update your blog for a very long time?
I am super busy with my drug discovery project. I don't have any idea to write. I don't like to write non-sense or something about my boring life. I have no talent anymore..haven't brush it up for quite sometimes. hmm...recently, I had the idea to write some comments on tERESA kOK ...entittled "The Immatured Ladette? "-she's not qualified to be a politician.. a ladette? ahah ok kut.

How do u feel today? How's your Raya preparation?

I feel awkward. I don't think people read my blog anymore. haha..but my friends and my blogger friends want me to continue blogging. WRITE SOMETHING. I think this is good too for my IELTS preparation ( I think). My Raya preparation? Same like always...I never really enjoy hari raya. It just another day. But I feel really sad leaving ramadan. I think this year I didn't achieve my target "CaTchIng Lilatul Qadar" like last ramadan. I hope I will still be alive until next year raya. I am sick- I have gastric. Ubat USM BEST:D

Do you have anything to share?

I think my supervisor reads my blogs.
I feel sad cause I didn' t go to Penang little Market to meet Robert Raymer- I am still in the lab on sunday. Even this coming sunday! Sunday is my working day-lah.

My wishes?

I wish that I can go to germany! Ok this time, i hope to go to munich ahaha. Adey...dream onla marina..but it's ok to dream and let people laugh at you...it makes u strong!

I have to finish synthesizing my 24 compounds first before end of december!!!

Pray for me.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri. Moga Allah memberkati kalian dan memberi kita peluang sekali lagi merasai Ramadan. Amin.

Dakwah-ing:creating or destroying the bridge!

2008-06-03T08:58:00.003+08:00

For those who loves conveying the "Message"but not really good at it. (in my own words: U GUYS TOTALLY SUCK AT IT! SUCKS BIG TIME)

Here's why:

THE JUDGING EYES

-can't u guys stop judging people tru the way they dress or their attitude. Iman is something which is inside you not the way you dress or your attitude. Fine..wearing hijab is a MUST but do know you some people who doesn't wear hijab pray at the exact time each time after the call of prayer. This is what we call like a complimentary DNA i supposed, correct me if I'm wrong. I mean like when you know what is your weakness and you try to improve it in other way before you're ready to cover up the other hole(weakness).

THE CHAIN LETTERS

-Reminds me the movie" I KNEW WHAT U DID LAST SOMMER!" Why forwarding emails? Why must you forward emails to that only one person you aim? that's not professional.

THE ACT OF "I AM HOLIER THAN THOU"

-The act of I am holier than thou actually is the biggest PARASITE that would destroy this bridge. This is the route where another parasite called ARROGANT would seize your body system without you realizing it.

BOASTING OF WHAT RELIGIOUS THING U DO

- U see, this thing if u kept on saying it most of time it would make the other person feel bad about themselves. They will have some breakdown cause they already trying their best to be a good muslim by doing solat, zakat, fasting, and all the important things. Just because they didn't go or attend any group studies that doens't mean that they're less islamic than you. They might learn a lot from readings.

THINK THAT OTHERS KNOW LESS THAN U IN RELIGIOUS ISSUES.

- Do I need to say more? THINK!

WRONG METHOD!

-criticizing and pushing people to accept your advices is not the right way. The word like " YOU SHOULD or YOU MUST" with wrong intonation irritates people. They are human and you're no better than them. They may have high respect towards you when it comes to religious matters but this respect might turned into hatred and the lost of respect when you didn't manage tackle their heart but actually you hurt them even though u will say u didn't mean it. The point is-u still HURT them.

PLZ LEAVE UR WORLD

-this world ain't just for you. We have different types of people with different thinking styles that what makes us different and WUNDERBAR. But when u guys expect that everyone could entertain ur attitude towads them-u're totally wrong. Can "THE LONG TUDUNG GANG" get along with "SKIMMPY DRESSERS YET TUDUNG WEARERS GANG" if you keep thinking that staring at them would make them change their dressing style, you're totally WRONG! Do you like when someone stares at you? Make an effort getting to know them and be their FRIEND and slowly advice them about proper Muslimah dressing, that would might work. Who knows that they might surprise you that they're better in Islam than you.

STOP LABELING PEOPLE

- " I think he's not Islamic. " Why? How do you know one is Islamic than the other just by looking or getting to know him or her just on the surface?

U may be good at keeping relationship with God but when it comes to human, u might wanna look back and leave the bag " I AM BETTER THAN YOU" behind.

* sorry this post sounds harsh but I can't take it any longer the way u guys treated others. Orang lain berdakwah juga tapi sampai, korang dakwah orang lari.

nota kaki: Assalamualaikum bagi pengunjung semua, sorrylah saya teramat sibuk di dalam lab. dunia bloggin ni saya dah lama berhenti kecuali ada rasa nak post something here. anyway, take care!! :)

Jawi peranakan Penang Mari

2008-03-19T00:39:00.002+08:00

Masa aku sekolah rendah dulu

Ada seorang hamba Allah yang digelar guru

Guru itu orang bukan jawi peranakan

Dia tanya satu kelas aku darjah 6

"Kamu suka tak kalau penang keluar dari malaysia?"

Budak-budak tahu apa semua terdiam.

Dia tersengih, senyum sinis

Sekarang aku dah tua,

persoalan itu timbul semula

sejarah hampir-hampir sama itu singapura

Malam pru-12 aku sudah tahu siapa juara

Semua melayu sakit kepala

Ada juga yang redha kerana itu mmg sikap mereka

aku tanya mak pak aku , "If tomorrow or one day penang is outta m'sia to form its own country,i want both of you to become Malaysians. I will be Penangite."

Both of them just laughed.

who knows history will repeat again just like almost 50 years ago.

First : pakatan mamjuk,multiracial
Next... only LKY clonning factory.

Kebanyakan pemimpin Melayu mudah alpa dan tak banyak baca buku.Hehehe

Lim kit siang mudah lupa...ahahaha (welcome to the club!u said about being Malaysians Malaysia but then...aiya!)

Alhamdulillah

2008-02-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

I am stress out..well, traumatized with synthesis to be exact. That's what I've told both of my supervisors today. Dr. A was shocked. She said, "No..no..no..." afraid that I might drop this project. But InsyaAllah I hope not. I know I have a very tough supervisor, Dr. A and another one is not that though, pretty relax. But for me to have both of them really open my mind. Dr. A teach me how to think. How to use logic in chemistry instead of studying and memorizing blindly. Dr. H was my previous undergrad supervisor. She's cool and she never make her students stressful hehehe. If dr. A wants to scold me, i think i have to bear with it . who knows my future supervisor (if Allah gives me the chance) might be more tougher than this one.

All the best!and don't give up! or..traumatized by previous failureszzz.!

Musim Georgians Bertunang

2008-02-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

Wow...dah tua rupanya saya ini.
Tahun ini dah ada 3 orang kawan saya bertunang. Maju sungguh. Kerjaya pun sudah ada walaupun hanya kontrak. Mungkin akan diserap di dalam jabatan kerajaan, siapa tahu. Saya bertanya kepada kawan baik saya , apa perasaan dah bertunang ni. Katanya tidak rasa apa-apa. Yang sorang lagi pula kata dia tak ready lagi nak kahwin. Macam-macam perasaan...ahaha.

Saya pula pening kepala bila terfikirkan ibu bapa yang meningkat usia. Pak mungkin dah tak larat nak turun ke laut. Mak pun letih kerja kilang. Cuma dibibir saja bercakap macam boleh kerja lagi tapi kadang-kadang dengar juga leteran mak apabila bandingkan saya dengan kawan baik saya yang telah bertunang dan ada kerja. Hmmm..saya tak tahulah sama ada saya boleh buat Phd atau tidak. Kesian lak tgk mak kerja teruk-teruk..huhu.

Think about that later...

Saya Tak Paham

2008-02-05T13:45:00.000+08:00

Aku tidak paham apa yang ibu bapa saya hendakkan dari aku.Aku tak pernah menyusahkan mereka dari segi kewangan. Pergi ke Jerman pun duit tabung sendiri. Sehingga sekarang sambung master pun aku kerja sambilan sebagai RA. Aku bukan orang yang boleh buat dua tiga kerja dalam satu masa. Aku tidak pernah mengeluh kalau naik bas pun. Memangla aku takda lesen lagi. Tapi aku memang tidak ada masa nak ambil. Hari sabtu pun kadang-kadang kena pergi ke U,jadi bila lagi aku nak rehat?Ahad sajalah. Bila lagi aku nak baca buku kimia organik?Hari Ahad. Hari-hari lain memang letih, balik dari lab dah malam hanya boleh study sikit saja kadang-kadang terlalu letih dan bosan tak study langsung. Dr suruh stat metathesis bulan 6. Aku baru ja stat dan byk sintesis tak jadi2 lagi. Jadi kena pulunla.Mana ada masa ni???

Belajar Mencintai

2008-01-29T22:06:00.000+08:00

Aku suka sintesis
Aku suka sintesis
Aku suka sintesis
Aku amat suka sintesis
Aku letih
tapi
aku suka sintesis.

Belajarlah mencintai sintesis dan belajar hidup bersamanya untuk 2 tahun akan datang.

You Must Be From Iran!

2008-01-28T01:42:00.000+08:00

This is last year's story.

I had just finished my German class for Monday evening. It was so tiresome! Not because of the class, but I had to hike from my lab to the D10 , an old, big colonial building just to attend Frau Mayr's class. To my surprise, we had our test, my 30% of carry marks. Thank God that I attended the class although I was planning not to come on that day too after 2 times in a row I didn't go to the class, as I was busy with my thesis!Last minute thesis, which i handed my thesis one week late and after my supervisor recieved a call from Prof Lim, telling her that I had not handed my thesis yet!

After answering all the hard questions based on my knowledge cause I didn't study anything, i walked out from the class. I walked down the sloppy road to go back to my hostel. Suddenly, someone grab my hand. I was shocked! I just at stare at her and feeling numb.

"Do you know where is the international house? I think I am lost." , she spoke with a very thick American accent and fast too which made my mouth just stutter when i try to answered.

"Erk..Erk..ehmm...you..you..", my mouth hesitated to give the answer.

"Follow me, I am going back to my hostel which is right in front of your hostel too.", at last my mouth could put the words correctly!

As we walked, passing Physic School, she asked me whether i am staying at the international house too.

"No, no..i am not staying there. " I said .

" Wow, you have a very thick american accent!" I toldto her. She smiled from ear to ear, feeling good.

"I don't like American accent. The "r" sound really thick. I think British accent is better although some of them speak as if their mouth is full with food and they love to use swear words. " I told her and laugh my heart out. "No offence, ok.", i said.

"I don't like british accent cause I don't understand what they're saying." she said and she started to impersonate British accent.

"Halloooo,hhhhhhooww Dooo You Do...??" she continued impersonate as if she is an old British man. Both of us laugh at her own jokes.

"Are you from Iran?" suddenly out of the blue, i asked her.

"Yes! How do you know?" she asked me surprisingly.

"The way you wear headscarf. I could see your fringe." I told her "innocently". " But the way you tied your headscarf just like Lebanese style."

She laughed. "Yeah,yeah, this is lebanese style. This style is famous in my country too. I my country, most would wear the long black thing and we don't pin here. We hold it", she said and pointed below the chin, where usually hijab babes pin it.

"Or, just tied like a knot." she continued. "When I come here, I see a lot of Muslim girls wear colourful headscarf so, I wear colourful headscarf too!"

"oh..." i just nodded my head, understood everything and we had arrived to the international hostel.

"Ok..that's your hostel!Take care, Assalamualaikum." I told her and said good bye.

"Walaikumsalam, Thank you." She said back.

So, that's how it is so easy to know Iranian ladiessss in our campus besides all the makcik-makcik (aunty/tante) UMNO such as Shaharizat! hehehe

Sorry for the grammar mistakes. i will check it next time. Zzzzz

Rush Hour!

2008-01-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

KLIK view image to see the real structure.

3 weeks has gone-wasted!

I’ve been trying to find the right ratio of solvents (MeOH, EtOAc, Chloroform and so on) but to no avail.

I am so afraid of my supervisor.

Tegas dan garang dan garang dan tegas

I need to prepare my first part research to present in front of my co and main supervisor by this month and I already overdue my dateline.

Matilah..

THis week kena pulun juga.

Sok lepas pi spital terus ke u buat “tlc investigation”!

كود رهسيا

2007-12-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

جاوي بوليه جادي كود رهسيا باڬي اورڠ ملايو كران بوكن سموا اورڠ بڠسا لاين فهم.

Demi Masa II

2007-12-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

Master aku bukan hanya melibatkan kerja-kerja eksperimen aku di dalam makmal dan memastikan agar eksperimen aku dapat memberi hasil , tapi aku juga perlu tahu benda-benda basic dari level pertama organik dan juga bidang yang aku kaji. Jadi janganlah aku membuang masa tapi aku perlu mengisi masa untuk mengkhatamkan beberapa buah buku. Salah satu buku yang terpenting di dalam tangan aku dan memang perlu aku khatamankan adalah "Essentials of Carbohydrate Chemistry and Biochemistry" tulisan Thisbe K. Lindhorst. Buku ini adalah buku yang dipinjamkan oleh supervisor aku. Aku terkejut juga yang supervisor aku ni boleh bagi aku pinjam buku ni. Terima kasih dr. Saya akan berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk master ini dan tidak akan membuang masa lagi dan akan mengotakan janji saya pada Dr!

* buku ini ada 3rd edition yang lebih padat tapi takda kat library. Huhu..

Berita Lama

2007-12-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

Malaysische Studentengruppe der University Sains Malaysia (USM) zu Gast an der FH Aachen

Foto: FH Aachen

Eine Gruppe Studierender unserer Partneruniversität Sains Malaysia in Penang (USM) war am vergangenen Montag einen Tag lang zu Gast an der FH Aachen. Die fünfzehn Studierenden verschiedener Fachrichtungen wurden von Mitarbeitern des Akademischen Auslandsamts der FH Aachen herzlich in Empfang genommen. Bei ihnen konnten sie sich ausführlich über das Studienangebot der FH sowie das Leben und Studieren in Deutschland informieren – was die Gäste auch mit großer Neugier in Anspruch nahmen.

Ein Highlight ihres Aufenthaltes in Aachen war der Besuch des Fachbereiches Luft- und Raumfahrttechnik, die Besichtigung der Anlagen und speziell die Vorstellung des studentischen Projekts „Compass 1“. In diesem Projekt entwickeln die Studierenden den Mini-Satelliten Pico, der noch in diesem Jahr ins All starten soll. Später traf sich die malaysische Delegation in entspannter Atmosphäre mit ehemaligen deutschen Austauschstudenten, die das letzte Wintersemester an der USM verbracht hatten. Für einige Studierende, die im Juli ihr Auslandssemester an der USM beginnen werden, bot dieses Zusammentreffen eine hervorragende Chance, um erste Kontakte zu knüpfen und aus Erfahrungsberichten zu lernen. Zwei FH-Gaststudenten der Universität Putra Malaysia sowie eine malaysische Doktorandin des Forschungszentrums Jülich nahmen ebenfalls an der Gesprächsrunde teil und berichteten von ihren Erfahrungen eines Auslandsaufenthaltes in Deutschland.

Im Anschluss an das akademische Programm gab es einen schönen Ausklang bei einem gemeinsamen Rundgang durch die Aachener Altstadt und großen Eisbechern auf dem Marktplatz.

Die Studierenden tourten, vom DAAD gefördert, quer durch Deutschland, um verschiedene deutsche Hochschulen kennen zu lernen. Nach Frankfurt, Konstanz und Freiburg ist Aachen die vierte Station. Morgen treten sie ihren Heimweg nach Malaysia an.

Kebetulan tengah bosan, tiba-tiba terbaca post kawan lama di website group yang pergi ke Jerman dulu tentang berita kedatangan kami disiarkan di dalam website berita kampus Fachhochshule Aachen. Tak perlu translate ya..hehehe..otak tengah tak centre jadi rasa nak post saja-saja.

I am a Muslim

2007-12-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

I am a Muslim

I am not a liberal muslim,
Too good for a moderate muslim,
Not qualified for a pious muslim.
just a practicing muslim.

I control my mind,
I control my choice,
People don't affect me,
Environment ignores me.

I won't tolerate for the sake of you
I won't change just to please you
I have my own path, my own dignity
I have never ask you to follow me.

I am a full time hijabi,
sometimes i have a bad hijab day,
sometimes I whine about the hot weather,
but I've never put the blame on my choice.

I am my prayers
Whether I am in arctic or antarctic
there must be a way for me to date him 5 times a day.
Just to get bless in the end of my day.

-siti marina maidin, 1.50 am,13/7 thursday 2007-

Topeng Impian

2007-12-16T19:48:00.000+08:00

Selama ini aku tak pernah menitik beratkan soal keselamatan, sejak first year sampailah sekarang ni dah master. Suka-suka hati main chemical macam main air hujan. Tak pakai sarung tangan, tak pakai mask, kadang-kadang tak pakai lab coat. Muka pernah terbakar, tangan dah pernah kena kepanasan NaOH dan macam-macam lagi. Sekarang ini tak boleh main-main, walaupun menurut cik Safuraa yang kami sudah lali dengan bahan kimia tapi itulah saya tak mahu mengambil risiko menjadi mandul atau kanser. Hehe..kalau guna mask yang doktor pembedahan pakai itu memang tak membantu, sebab saya masih lagi boleh menghidu segala wap-wap organik dan juga serbuk-serbuk kimia lain. Jadi saya nak beli topeng keselamatan seperti gambar di atas tapi bentuknya takdala sekali dengan pelindung mata. Saya pakai google lindugi mata tapi nak beli topeng yang ada dua corong ditepi dan ditengah tu. Buat masa ini, bapa saya bagi pinjam mask diperbuat daripada span tapi masih juga tidak membantu malah menyebabkan saya lebih menghidu bau toksik organik kerana span itu seolah-olah menyerap segala bau..huhuh...

Pengkristalan

2007-12-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

Usaha aku hendak mengkristalkan galactose pentaacetate menemui kebuntuan. Lepas aku sintesis sekali lagi akhirnya kristal tu terbentuk tapi apabila aku campur dengan DCM (diklorometana) ianya berubah menjadi sirup dan tidak menjadi kristal lagi. Hmm..hati aku tak senang selagi tak jumpa cara nak mengkristalkan gula tu. Gula apabila dikristalkan ia akan menjadi seperti gula yang kita selalu dok guna tulah. So, esok aku akan cuba larutkan sedikit sampel dalam botol kecil dan larutkan dengan kloroform dan sejukkan botol tu di dalam bekas berisi ais ketul. Cuba tengok, kalau tak jadi, tulis je dalam report hanya menjadi kristal dalam kuantiti mininum dan selepas column chromatography, ianya tidak terbentuk semula.

semoga berjaya-utk diriku ini

akhirnya, hati aku tenang sedikit, rasanya kesan dari minum kopi telah berkurangan..bolehla aku menumpukan sepenuh tenaga membaca buku NMR selepas membuat masa dari pagi hingga pukul 8 malam ini.

edit: Pengkristalan berjaya dilakukan tetapi kristal terlalulahhhh halus. Huh..tak kisahla yang penting boleh tulis dapat jadikan kristal.

Benciku padamu...NMR

2007-12-16T18:32:00.000+08:00

Spektrum nmr yang macam ni aku kena baca,matilaa...tak nampak puncak yang boleh dibaca pun. Gambar satu lagi tulah tempat nak masukkan tiub nmr kat atas sekali, kena panjat kerusi. Gambar tu 600Hz, kat lab aku hanya ada 300 Hz dan 400 Hz tapi 400 Hz tu rosakla pulak!!..Sapa yang bagi rosak kalau bukan phd student lab akula yang ajar aku sintesis masa projek undergrad dulu. huh...

Sintesis ini seperti juga memasak untuk menghasilkan sesuatu yang baru dan sedap. Tapi sintesis ini rumit. Terlalu rumit seperti juga cabang bidang kimia yang lain seperti pengekstrakan tapi memandangkan ada alat-alat yang dapat membantu mengasingkan bahan yang kita hendak dan kita tak mahu maka takla susah sangat berbanding sintesis. Dua benda yang aku tak suka tentang sintesis tapi tidak boleh mengelak : column (satu kaedah pemisahan ) dan juga NMR ( satu kaedah untuk menentukan struktur bahan yang diasingkan itu-bahan yang dikehendaki). Spektrum NMR memang aku tak pandai baca. Tambah-tambah struktur gula . Gula yang kita makan setiap hari. Gula di dalam botol lab siap dibeli bewarna putih dan halus seperti bedak, tapi aku tak berani nak cuba merasa manis ke tidak..hehehe takut jadi benda lain pula. Apa-pun memang mencabar bidang kalau main dengan gula, strukturnya yang simple tapi tidak stabil (mudah berubah anomer beta ke alpha atau sebaliknya) menjadi aku gila..spektrumnya lagila menyiat hatiku ini, susah gila nak baca..sebab ada mixture of anomers dalam sampel aku. Camna nak pisahkan.. Huhu.. takpa take your time. Buat masa ini, aku nak baca basic nmr dulu.

Nasib baik...

2007-12-16T18:12:00.000+08:00

Hari selasa-khamis lepas, prof. jemputan yang datang dari Leipzig (laipsig) buat ceramah kat skul saya. Pada hari rabu, kawan lab saya beritahu yang dia nak ajak saya makan tengahari bersama Prof. Dieter Freude [di-ter froi-de] dan isterinya. Saya terkejutla sebab saya "dijemput" supaya boleh melayan isteri prof tu sebab dia tak tahu cakap inggeris.Saya memang tak ready. Jerman saya dah berkarat dan saya demam so malasla nak pergi. Malam tu aku study german ,cuba buat ayat-ayat mudah agar boleh berkomunikasi dengan isterinya. Dalam hati memang nak stay up supaya aku ada lebih masa nak study tapi hati agak berat. Keesokkannya saya pergi ke lab dan kawan saya beritahu yang rancangan pergi lunch tak jadi. Saya amatlah bergembira dan bersyukur sebab tak stay up malam tu..hehehe.
Dan...
duit yang digunakan untuk belanja Prof tu digunakan untuk belanja satu lab makan KFC seorang seketul hehe.. :)

The end

ohya, prof ni nampak lagi tua dari gambar diatas hehehe..

Saya rasa makin lama saya sudah tidak tahu menulis dalam bahasa saya, bahasa inggeris, mahupun bahasa jerman. Alangkah bahagianya saya kalau saya boleh melukis seperti abgjas ..ahaha. Lukis orang lidi pun belum tentu jadi.

don't kill your dream

2007-12-09T00:53:00.001+08:00

Ich habe einen Traum, dass ich moechte in Deutschland studieren.
( saya ada impian, saya mahu belajar di Jerman)

My main supervisor said, "Don't kill your dream!" and "not many people would be supportive with your idea but i am."

berusahala betul-betul master ni.
repeat the 5 minutes glory during your undergrad.
jangan main-main.
jangan anggap ringan.
Master lain dari undergrad project.

This would be the last time I would mention in my bog or to anyone I want to go and study there one day. InsyAllah.

This Tuesday, I'll have to attend a seminar on nmr by a visiting prof from uni. of Liepzig.

Clumsy lil me.

2007-12-09T00:44:00.000+08:00

Well, I have been working in my lab for 2 weeks. On my first day of in the lab, my 5mL measuring cylinder fell off from my hands and broke. On the second day, my 600mL beaker suddenly crack and spilt off all my compound in the beaker that I have to re-do my experiment the next day.
-The end-

The Daniel syndrome

2007-12-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

Dalam lab aku ni ada sorang mamat ni, lembut je muka dia.Nampak baik ja.. anyway, dia suka cakap orang lain dalam lab evil ( walaupun dalam nada bersahaja tapi annoying juga sebab dia dah mula berlagak "I'm holier than thou") Dia budak master sekali dengan bahagian aku. Dulu ingat dia ok..masa dia start master aku masih dok pulun undergrad punya projek. Dia kira junior akula walaupun dia buat master sebab aku kena ajar dia first synthesis tu. Geram sungguh aku kat mamat ni. Boleh dikatakan semua barang dalam lab ada nama. Siap ada nombor tipon lagi. Berbelas-belas bikar, round bottom flask, spatula yang hujung tu macam bentuk sudu ada dalam 5, dan macam-macam lagila dia simpan dalam almari dia. semua benda penting seperti separating funnel ke column ke apa jua alat radas memang dalam khazanah dia. Aku bengangla..masalahnya dia tak guna. Dah tu simpan buat apa? Aku kira baru stat masuk lab so banyak benda takda. Bila minta kat dia ,dia bagi tapi macam tak ikhlaslah. Bila minta lebih-lebih dia membebel. Yang paling best, benda aku pun dia buat harta dia. Tension aku. Nasib baik aku ni jenis muka serius. So dia tak beranila kacau aku selalu.

Memangla ada nilai baik dalam diri dia tapi dua benda tu je yang membuatkan satu labmates bengang dengan dia iaitu suka simpan barang lab macam satu lab tu dia punya dan satu lagi suka cakap banyak dan tak ikhlas (harapkan balasan) Opps.. tu dah tiga! Cuma depa tak cakap apa-apala. Tak suka kerja dalam situasi stress sebab perangai orang. Kena cakap manis dengan dia baru boleh dapat kut. hehehe..lemah, lemah.. aku tak pandai bermanis mulut. Yang pasti aku cakap, weh aku student Dr. H gak, so aku berhakla minta semua barang ni sebab ni pun duit geran bukan duit ang ja. Kalau benda tu ang jumpa and then u're not using it, why on earth are u keeping it! ahaha akhirnya...aku dapat gak satu box TLC paper dan 5 tiub nmr yang dia mula-mula tak nak bagi. Dahla pasai dia juga takleh ada tempat solat dalam bilik stor. Berapa bilik stor nak ada untuk simpan chemical. Butt head!! Ahaha emo sikit.

Ada sekali tu, dia cari spatula yang hujung tu ada sudu, tanya kat aku. Dengan muka seriuslak dan aku tahu dia tengah geram kat aku as if aku ambil semua spatula tu . aku ada satu la tapi aku kata tu aku ambil kat meja Shazrin (dah habis projek), dia diam dan buat muka masam.. last-last "awek" dia yang ambil. hahaha..tension aku mamat ni. Maybe sebab rasa bersalah dia tiba-tiba jadi baik ngan aku dengan berkata, "You want balloon, take as much as u wantla..." Ya aku memang perlukan belon..lagipun tu pun duit geran bukan duit dia..adey..tensionnya. Cepat-cepatlah aku habis master. aku dah boring main sintesis ni. Tu aku dah cakap kat supervisor aku yang garang itu, "I don't want to do any synthesis after this!"

Apa Khabar?!

2007-12-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

hehehe...apa khabar. Lama saya bersembunyi. Masa tulis blog ni pun otak tak centre lagi. Saya sedang tulis proposal. Last minute proposal selepas 2 minggu berhempas pulas dalam lab. Saya masih bertapa di skul kimia sebelum bertapa di lab kimia farmasi di skul farmasi yang berhantu dan seram itu. Supervisor saya setakat ini ok tapi sebenarnya dia ini amat serius orangnya dan garang jugalah. Hati saya rasa macam nak tukar supervisor saya ke Dr. H yang amat baik dan bekas supervisor saya semasa projek undergraduate. Beliau juga orang bertanggungjawab menyebabkan saya bertukar arah ke skul farmasi ini. Sekarang ni Dr. H menjadi co-supervisor. Tapi selalunya saya memang bersendirian di lab. Dah lama tak jumpa beliau. Beliau sibuk dengan kursus PTK (penilaian tahap kecekapan).

Semoga semua kawan-kawan sihat ya. Take care! :)

Masuk Kandang....Next week perhaps!

2007-11-13T23:47:00.001+08:00

masuk kandang kimia, lab lah tu. Itu pun kalau dah betu-betul sedia mental dan fizikal. Excited ahaha..tapi masih pening dengan langkah-langkah untuk setiap sintesis. Still searching for journals , finding the right way to synthesis each substances so that I don't have to repeat each synthesis ...huh..unfortunately...not much journal that I've found! More over, synthesis is all about trial and error. Huhuh... i will try to finish my first part of synthesis in 1 year 4 monhts. huhu so that...i could do solid phase synthesis!!! Huhu... I want to go to Germanylaaa... satu sem je huhu tapi tula kena sedaq diri. Pointer cek berapa ni?? tok sahla dok bagi dua-dua supervisor gelakkan cek. Hehe..dr Hasnah suruh daftar awai lepas dua bulan sintesis dia suruh daftar. Aku terkejut sebab member2 aku semua selepas 8 /6 bulan berkampung dalam lab baru daftar...dia pun terkejut dengar aku cerita hehe..tapi alasan dia nak suruh aku daftar adalah takut aku lari!!! Muahaha ape ke heinyer aku nak lari. aku nak lari ke mana?Rasanya dr takut aku nak lari pi U kat german ni sebab banyak kali dah aku cakap kat dia.

ADoi...selepas melihat dua sahabat aku Pae dan ARiza ke obesi walaupun untuk 2 bulan aku pun nak join sekaki huhu. Nak rasa stress buat kerja dalam lab ngan mat2 german ni..tu je..bukan nak jalan2. ingat budak kimia ada masa nak berjalan-jalan? Huhu... Hmm..satu lagi aku serba salah. Teacher german aku tu suruh aku minta dual program kat german uni .Kira cam collabo..aku nak...sangat,sangat..tapi tak beranila nak suarakan pada supervisor. Masa aku cakap kat dia tak boleh kut...muka dia monyok. Nantila aku dah sintesis gula pentaasetat nanti aku tanya ..huhu leh ke?sempat ke? huhu..Doakan sajalah. Sebenarnya hati ni berkobar-kobar sebab sebelum ni Dr. Hasnah ada mention yang aku leh pi perancis untuk study satu bahagian sintesis ni tapi tak jadi so frust menonggengla..ahahah..tapi baik aku pi german sebab aku penat-penat belajar german ni..tu ja tujuan asal. Nak belajar merasai tension study kat sana dan juga belajar cakap german ngan local people...that's all.

oh ya, nanti nak beli lab coat baru kut..lab coat lama, sungguh buruk dan banyak lubang. Nak beli jarum suntikan lagi (bukan nak hisap dadah), nak beli belon, penutup muka (susah-susah aku pakai purdah ahaha..tapi wap chemical masuk gak..) dan gloves. Google aku pun kena cari balik mana aku buang. Esok bapa dan adik saya nak cat basikal untuk saya hehe..bahaya pun bahayala aku nak survive ni. Ingat nak kerja tapi tgkla camna...minta jadi graduate assistant kut. Masuk gak duit. Huhu slow,slow...

Sejukkk

2007-11-11T00:38:00.000+08:00

Tangan aku sejuk sangat masa menaip blog ni. Entah mengapa. Excited maybe? Tiba-tiba tak sabar nak sintesis gula biasa ni ke gula pentaasetat. Tak sabar nak jumpa Dr.A dan Dr. H nak bincang plan strategik aku untuk 2 tahun akan datang sebagai student master kimia farmasi sintesis C-glikosida dan asid amino. AKu harap sangat-sangat dapat belajar buat solid phase sintesis tu. Walaupun semasa perbincangan kali kedua melibatkan Dr. Hasnah telah merubah plan nak buat solid phase tidak menjadi. Terlalu banyak C-glikosida yang perlu dihasilkan dengan berbagai jenis gula. Aku nak minta german gak study kalau boleh dalam satu sem buat projek kat sana. Nak sangat2. Hopefully solid phase kat sana.Tapi..kemungkinan itu tipis sebab semua bergantung kepada 2 orang supervisor aku tu. Frau Mayr nak aku buat kat german, buat collaboration ngan depa. Huhu..aku pun harap sangat bukan apa lehla aku praktis bercakap dalam bahasa Jerman betul2. Huhu...indahnya angan-angan minah Jenin ni. Huhu..Daku amat merindui Jerman.Lupakan kenangan pahit..tinggal yang manis saja.

"I need to pray and work out this plan."

Ich möchte ein Fahrrad!

2007-11-02T00:35:00.000+08:00

"Ich möchte mir ein Fahrrad kaufen!"-marina

Saya nak beli (kaufen) basikal(Fahrrad)! Memang jalan raya dari rumah saya untuk ke Uni bahaya. Teramatlah bahaya. Tapi saya letih naik bas. Terlalu letih naik bas. Kalau ambil lesen pun perlu ambil masa untuk terrer kat jalan raya tu. Huhu. Saya tak larat melabur RM5.50 setiap hari. Kadang-kadang saya buat bodoh je naik bas bayar tak ikut harga sebenar ..tau,tau..bukan amalan yang baik tapi dapat membantu saya mengurangkan duit belanja sehari. Huhu..nasib baik tengah puasa ni tak guna duit banyak tapi nanti kalau saya kena tinggal dalam lab hingga pukul 8 saya memang perlukan basikal. Hmm..Kadang-kadang tengok pakcik-pakcik dan makcik-makcik tua yang berbasikal ke sana ke mari dan melintasi laluan bahaya di jalan raya..saya rasa kenapa saya perlu takut lagi.Huhu mmgla bahaya nanti saya kena cuba cari laluan yg tidak merbahaya. Saya nak basikal warna perak! Saya nak pergi U cepat dan balik dalam pukul 8 dengan berbasikal. Waktu-waktu ni tak banyak kereta. Teringat di Jerman dulu, ramai orang berbasikal ke mana-mana. Nak ke pejabat? Dengan kot hitam, bertali leher, dan bersepatu hitam berkilat, mereka naik basikal dengan bakul di depan. Memang basikal tu sesuai untuk perempuan kalau kat Malaysia ni. Sana ramai orang naik basikal tidak kira pangkat pun. Siap ada lampu isyarat lagi untuk basikal dan juga laluan basikal. Hmm..kan best M'sia camtu..Bersihnya Jerman..tasik-tasiknya bersih sangat, rasa nak terjun ja. Kat sini huhu susah nak jumpa yang bersih. Kalau yang bersih pun hanya tempat-tempat peranginan. Kat sana tepi-tepi jalan pun air bersih mengalir . Kena belajar sistem perparitan dari mereka. Kat sini asal ada sungai saja , dikorek dijadikan longkang (kawasan rumah aku dulu). Hampess..semua mata duitan! Simple Simon!!Opps..lari tajuk..

Kenapa tak nak duduk asrama? WAaaaddduh, bosan deh! 4 tahun duduk di asrama tak berdunia. Tak boleh. Tak boleh...ish..ish..saya tak sesuai tinggal di asrama. Tambah-tambah, rumah dalam satu negeri dengan U.HUhu..berikanlah daku kekuatan dan keberanian untuk hamba-Mu ini berbasikal ke Uni. ^-^

btw, html blog ini tak faham bahasa Inggeris (British) tapi faham Inggeris (Amerika).
center diterima, centre tak terima. ceh..

Cik Muzem....dah siap!

2007-10-31T10:45:00.000+08:00

Ape nama blog kamu?
macam-macam. Selalu tukar ikut mood.

Sejak tahun bile kamu memblog?
2005

Kamu ingat lagi tak tarikh hari pertama kamu buat entry?

Freitag ( Jummat), April 08, 2005

Siape yang mempengaruhi/mendorong kamu berblog?
Sapuraaaaaaaa....memandangkan masa tu tengah cuti sem so takda idea nak mengisi masa lapang, cik pura telah mengerah tenaga saya supaya menulis blog.

Family kamu tahu tak kamu memblog?

tau tapi tak baca

Kamu ketagih tak dengan blog?
Depends. kalau hati ni meronta nak say something in words , tulis jela. Blog ini bersawang terutama semasa sibuk dengan projek dan exam.

Kamu rase seronok tak memblog ni?
Kadang-kadang seronok tapi kadang-kadang tidak.

Ade pendapat yg mengatakan, majoriti bloggers ni lebih ke arah "syok sendiri". Ape pendapat kamu?
Pasallah!.

Ape laman web/blog yang kamu suke lawat? Berikan 3.

blog Saifulislam
youtube (tgk video klip)
waymo.de (tgk video klip islamik)

Berapa kerap kamu lawat ketiga-tiga web/blog tu dalam sehari?
Tengokla...youtube everyday:)

Dalam banyak-banyak entry kamu, entry ape yang kamu rase paling:

(i) Thrilling?
Cerita masa aku bedah untuk "remove" ketumbuhan kecil kat bilik yang patutnya guna untuk khatan budak-budak.

(ii) Kontroversi?

kontroversi semasa membidas dan membahas hal-hal berkaitan mamak

(ii) Bahagia?

ehm..entah..tak perasan lak. Aku kena review balik blog ni..hehehe

(ii) Down on earth?

aku selalu down to earth..:P tapi usually aku ni melancholic person..tulis pun cam emo semacam.

(iii) Sedih ya amat?
Sedihla juga mengenangkan orang lain grad dulu berbanding aku and the geng. Rasa cam aku ni budak bodohlak sebab tak habis belajar on time. But then wat the heckla...aku leh habiskan semua level german aku tu yang penting. Alhamdulillah..biar lambat asal selamat.

Kamu pernah tak rase nak stop dari terus memblog?
Pernah! Selalunyala rasa nak tutup blog sebab rasa dah mula tulis nonsense dah. Dulu tengah tension so adala peluang nak ekspresi dalam puisi. Sekarang tension gak tapi entah..takda ideala:)

Kamu nak 'Tag' soalan ni pade sape? Berikan nama 5 rakan bloggers kamu.

tak nak tag sebab semua orang tengah sibuk..termasuk aku:P

Bulan Yang Sibuk

2007-10-30T14:07:00.000+08:00

2 bulan yang akan datang ini saya akan menjadi amat sibuk dan tekanan darah akan meningkat. Saya perlu memikirkan dan mencari cara untuk mensintesis asid amino untuk projek Master saya. Ehm...sibuk,sibuk. Takut pun ada. Saya takut akan supervisor baru saya. Saya takut kalau tak jumpa cara nak mensintesis. huhu..maafla terlalu sibuk sampai tak terupdate blog ini. Nak singgah blog kawan-kawan pun kadang-kadang tak sempat. InsyaAllah saya akan singgah selalu.

Take care!

Fliege hoch !

2007-10-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

Ich hoffe, dass ich zurück nach Deutschland eines Tages gehen könnte.Ich möchte mehr Zeit dort verbringen und alles genießen. Im Ausland studieren muss nett sein, obwohl es hart ist. Ich muss wirklich gut in meinem Master studiengang machen. Ich hoffe, dass ich zum Ausland während meines Masters gehen könnte. Hoffentlich was Dr. Hasnah erzählt hat, dass mir wahr werden würde. Amin..huhu.

gambar: Street Scene in Carsija Old Muslim Town, Skopje, Macedonia
Maaf saya tulis dalam jerman, saya dah lama tak tulis jerman. Karat dah ni. Dah tu ada hati nak belajar bahasa lain lak tu. ish2. Anda boleh guna translator untuk translatekan apa yang saya tulis. Terima kasih:)

Betul-Betul-Betul

2007-10-11T15:36:00.000+08:00

THE COKODOK MONSTER

"Selamat hari raya Aidil Fitri semua! Maaf zahir dan batin:) Balik kampung berhati-hatilah di jalan raya :)"

betul,betul,betul..:) [ tak pasti ipin ke upin yang cakap]

eine Hoffnung fuer mich

2007-10-10T02:13:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang...
bila fikir balik aku pernah hidup susah dengan ibu bapa aku.
sentiasa berpindah randah ke setiap ceruk kawasan di penang.
dari rumah flat ke rumah setinggan..
dari rumah papan ke rumah berbadan zink , berlantai kayu seluruhnya..
tandas dikongsi...
paip air disalur dari rumah tuan rumah..
aku takut untuk balik hidup seperti itu semula
semoga aku terus berada di rumah "municipal council" ini..
semoga aku dibantu oleh-Nya agar terus mempertahankan dari keluarga ini merasai kehidupan itu semula.

Amin.

anti-sosialkah aku?

2007-10-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

Aku ada ramai kawan tapi aku sukar membuat kawan. Aku hargai setiap kawan tapi aku tak menunjuk dengan memberi hadiah. Kadang-kadang aku cari alasan untuk elak datang majlis-majlis "gathering" apabila aku rasa tidak selesa dengan salah seorang dari kamu. Aku pemaaf tapi bukan pelupa. Jadi kalau aku ambil keputusan tidak datang ke mana-mana majlis gathering sebenarnya aku tidak selesa dengan salah seorang tetamu. Jadi aku malas nak pergi. Baik aku duduk depan skrin komputer ini dan baca jurnal lagi bagus.

Letusan Lavahati

2007-10-08T22:41:00.001+08:00

Kadang-kadang saya rasa saya merempat di negara sendiri. Entah mengapa kadang-kadang saya rasa saya seperti pelarian. Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku ini seakan-akan orang Palestin. Mengapa orang suka mempertikaikan bahawa nenek moyang saya berasal dari sini. Seluruh nusantara ini kepunyaan moyang saya. Warum?

Kerana perasaan itu, aku mahu maju dan tidak mengharapkan bangsa lain. Dalam hidup aku, aku banyak menghabiskan masa aku lebih lama dengan orang bukan Melayu. Aku masih ingat aku menyertai perkhemahan sekolah , aku sahaja yang melayu.Semua berbahasa hokkien, mandarin, atau kantonis (bergantung dari sekolah kebangsaan atau tidak kerana tidak semua antara mereka tahu mandarin) aku hanya mendiamkan diri. Mengendahkan saja kerana lama-lama aku paham juga hokkien. Aku masuk pertandingan first aid ,aku sorang wakil melayu dalam seluruh penyertaan yang diwakili sekolah-sekolah lain. Aku masih ingat bagaimana seorang doktor semasa pertandingan itu memarahi satu dewan hanya kerana tidak menepuk tangan apabila aku yang Melayu ini berjaya menjawab soalan yang menyebabkan sekolah aku menjadi johan (walaupun bukan usaha aku seorang-aku bukan perasan). Aku sahaja melayu dalam kelas Jerman peringkat ke-3 dan terakhir. Roomate aku bangsa lain,aku akan meminjamkan radio kecilku untuk mendengar stesyen radio bahasanya apabila datang waktu maghrib aku terus menutupnya dan kena terangkan tindakanku itu. Aku tahu ada diantara mereka yang baik dan kebaikan mereka terhadapku kadang-kadang dipertikaikan oleh bangsa mereka sendiri dan mereka dipulaukan. Aku telah terlalu masak dengan perangai sedemikian dan tahu apa yang bakal aku hadapi apabila aku berada dalam situasi itu lagi, dan aku sebenarnya bosan untuk menghadapinya lagi.

Aku Melayu dan tidak mengharapkan kerajaan. Aku risau siapa bakal pemimpin negaraku. Apa yang dibawanya. Tapi aku tidak pernah mengharap kerajaan, aku tidak pernah percaya keistimewaan Melayu ini benar-benar dijalankan..Politik itu kotor kecuali politik yang diamalkan oleh Rasulullah. Orang politik tidak boleh cepat melatah, kena pandai beri pendapat dan menjalankannya. Ingat tuhan selalu. Kamu adalah "role model". Sepatutnya pemimpin perlu berkelulusan dengan bidang yang dibawah pimpinannya. Pemimpin perlu belajar setiap hari macam saintis yang perlu belajar benda baru setiap hari walaupun itu bukan bidangnya. Setiap keputusannya walaupun tidak mendapat hak veto rakyat mempengaruhi kehidupan rakyat. Aku diajar oleh bapaku agar tidak mengharap sesiapa pun. Aku kena berdiri di kakiku sendiri tanpa mengharapkan sesiapa menyokongku. Aku perlu bantu bangsaku maju dan tidak hanya bersyukur dengan apa yang ada. Bangsaku perlu bantu diri sendiri seperti perjuang kemerdekaan kita dahulu. Mereka tidak lari semasa Jepun datang, mereka tidak lari apabila komunis menyerang. Allah mahu kita maju dan kaya bukan wasatiah tidak tentu hala. Kena tamak. Tamak akan ilmu dunia dan akhirat. Aku mahu Ilmuwan islam bangun semula. Kita terlalu jauh ke belakang. Aku mahu kita banyak bekerja tanpa terlalu mengikut hati membuta-tuli, terlalu ikut orang. Terlalu menunggu kawan. Terlalu berkepit macam belangkas. Aku harap tidak ada lagi umat Islam yang mahu meletupkan diri kerana perbuatan membunuh diri itu sudah pun salah walaupun niatmu suci (maafkan aku tapi ini pendapat aku). Aku tidak mahu hanya kerana aku pakai tudung dan kau tidak pakai tudung , aku pakai tudung biasa dan kau pakai tudung labuh terasa ada sempadan di antara kita. Kau tahu tanggungjawab, orang nasihat sekali kemudian fikir2lah sendiri. Semoga Allah akan kuatkan kita dalam proses pembelajaran yang bakal kita hadapi nanti. Semoga Allah kuatkan semangat kita untuk maju dan bukan maju dalam benda bodoh serta membazir. Nama yang ditempa untuk kebaikan sejagat lebih baik dari membuat rekod-rekod yang bakal ditelan oleh zaman. Maju untuk membangunkan ummah dan maju untuk kebaikan manusia sejagat. A muslim brother is a brother in faith,A nonmuslim brother is a brother in humanity.

Semoga kita berjaya dalam penyelidikan kita nanti wahai sahabat di semua makmal. Aku rasa kita tidur lagi tidak nyenyak dari ahli politik.

Aku Takut Hantu!!!

2007-10-08T00:48:00.000+08:00

Ye bener, pak!

My Major prob for this Master is not that I am afraid playing with chemicals (that is my 1st runner up major prob especially column chromatography) but actually I am afraid to spend my time in the lab until 12 am or have to come back during wee hours to the lab. Pharmacy school are so freaking creepy!! It has a room where they put dead body for medical student to learn it before this school were changed to a pharmacy school. I used to hear unfavourable stories about pharmacy school. Ghost stories!! Why oh why I am such a scaredy cat. I just don't understand why the foreign student (mostly Arabics) are not afraid staying late in the lab..hmm maybe cause they have lab partners and I ain't got one!!! I dunno where the heck my lab is going to be..actually it is an old lab i guess cause my supervisor told me that it hasn't been cleaned yet. And ya... I think i will have to squat at anyone's house or room if I have to stay at nite. Huhu..I have no money to rent any room! Why!! Why!! Allah is testing me..yes I should be afraid of God more than a ghost..heheh but...what can I do, I' m afraid almost at everything! injections...for example. I hate BCG!

CHEMISERY

2007-10-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

I'm so scared. SOooo not sure right now. Shud I just continue my master with Dr. A in pharmaceutical chemistry or just go back to the old road with Dr. H in organic chemistry. I know I will involve in synthesizing anything anyway cause that was my first undergraduate project with Dr. H. She said that I am good at it but I KNOW I AM NOT.

Dr. H recommended me to Dr. A to continue my master in synthesizing "peptida" under pharmacy school. Ok..Dr A is not the same as Dr. H. Dr. H knows my bad attitude and also good ones (heheh sure she knows at least a bit) and she knows my weakness (which I can't work with many things at one time, although i was planning to learn french or arabic when I reach 25 at uni). When people recommended me to some one else i guess i have something good to offer, maybe the way I work when I was under Dr. H. but i do make mistakes too. A lot of mistakes .I still remember, especially Dr. H..she keeps on reminding me (until now...) not to do synthesis half way and left it when I made that mistake during extraction. I was stress out cause organic chemistry and synthesis are the toughest things in CHEMISERY. I envied my friends cause they did their project quickly.

Ok..one more thing, with Dr. H..I can play around ..i mean i never serious with her but I do respect her..i mean i feel close to her, maybe cause i was her first project's student. Dr. H and Mohd. (the PhD student from yaman) think that I could take this project. Mohd. thought that I did my undergrad project on my own. I did on my own..but I get others help too when I am not sure what I was doing. When i started my final year project, no one trusted me that I could done it including dr. H. i still remember Mohd. was looking carefully at how I was doing my work..he scolded me so many times, "what..do u think this is Aba ca dabra!!?"

I started with zero..I felt like giving up so many times while I was doing my undergrad project. Believe me! My mouth always mumbled "i want to drop this project, dr." . I didn't know what keep holding me for not dropping my project. I need to learn. I have not enough knowledge in chemistry. i never get a good result for core papers especially ORGANIC except for my elective (industrial chem +analytical chem), biology and german (i am weak at memorizing).

And now.. I am blur again. I like this project cause it is something that involve bio and chemistry. Something that I wanted to do cause I want to broaden my perspective. But recently, mohd asked me to think carefully cause it is hard. Really2 hard. Cause no one in usm or Malaysia (as they said) know how to synthesis this and other countries already start their research 50 years ago and Malaysia just starting to learn. So i would have some problem if i am stuck somewhere. Moreover, in this synthesis i can't just mix chemicals ..cause each chemicals has its own specific target. Wrong chemicals , wrong target,my project is over! he's experiencing right now the pain and headache of being alone synthesizing something that no one did before in Malaysia. so he got a point . cause when u don't have anyone to ask for help or guidance it would be hard. Really2 hard.He also said that my project is actually a PhD projects and yes I just found out that after I discussed with dr.A, she told me. Mohd asked me whether I want to do master and phd together? i was like No. So this is my platform to learn everything. It weird when at first mohd believe that I could do it but then he said I shud to solat istiqarah and just continue. sometimes, i do think he wants me to continue his project cause he used to mention it with dr H. Hmmm when he said my project is going to be hard , that means it is hard. Cause he's one of the brilliant one in the lab. and he got to take care 5 students doing undergrad project based on his ideas.

Adoi...actually I dunno.. both dr H and dr A already "confirmed" that i will do this project. dr. H will be my co-supervisor dan she will be main supervisor. And...i have no one in my lab. I hope someone would do project with dr A so that both of us can learn together. i will take this project ( I haven't istiqarah yet) cause both of them already discuss about my project. The feeling right now is just like when i start my final year project..shiver..blur..desperately i want to go somewhere and have fun. (fun in my own way..actually not fun at all for most people.)
sigh...but that is my new life after aidil fitri. I will stuck in a ghostly lab school of pharmacy at night for sure. Really hope that I am not afraid of ghost!!!.

My weakness:
Not very good at managing time. (my dad always scold me cause of this)
Not very good at remembering something ( like face or even names..so just imagine chemistry!!)
pleasure comes first before business.
easily stress out.
i am a scaredy cat!!why2 oh why...

Dia sudah pergi..

2007-09-25T07:26:00.000+08:00

Dalam hidup saya ada 3 pemergian yang memberi impak pada hidup saya dalam seharian. Saya tak boleh tidur atau pun satu keluarga tak akan banyak bercakap.

Satu pemergian Tok tiri saya yang saya panggil Tok Long. Isteri pertama datuk saya. Pemergian beliau memberi impak yang cukup kuat pada saya dan bapa saya kerana bapa saya (anak dari isteri no.2) dijaga olehnya sejak dari kecil. Impaknya besar sehingga saya "berjumpa" dengan beliau semula pada bulan ramadan (baca: si psikik terulung)

Yang kedua, pemergian jiran saya yang amat rapat sekali dengan keluarga kami. Keluarga beliau kami kenali sejak emak dan bapa saya masih kecil. Beliau meninggal kerana penyakit yang tidak diubati, disebabkan oleh suaminya, seorang penagih dadah. Semasa berkahwin beliau tak tahu bahawa suaminya telah pun dijangkiti penyakit itu. Beliau merahsiakan penyakitnya. Saya kesian kerana beliau tak bersalah. Keluarga mertuanya tidak mahu bertanggungjawab dengan menyatakan hal sebenar tentang anak lelaki mereka. Sekarang dua anak beliau yang terpaksa berpisah, dijaga oleh kakak-kakak beliau. Si abang di Turki, si adik di Malaysia.

Yang ketiga, adik Nurin. Saya tidak boleh tidur selepas mendengar berita tentangnya. Saya tidak berani menatap gambar Allahyarhamah. Sudah beberapa hari kalau nak melelapkan mata pasti saya akan teringat. Semoga Allah tempatkannya di Syurga. Saya harap ibunya dapat mengatasi traumanya yang tinggi. Semoga iblis bertopengkan manusia itu cepat ditemui dan saya tak mahu dia mati masa ditemui (kena tembak ke masa lari), rasa seperti dia patut di siksa sebelum mati. Patut kena rejam atau sula sekali.

Al-Fatihah.

Bahasa Melayu di Jerman

2007-09-05T17:14:00.000+08:00

Semasa lawatan saya ke Jerman dulu, saya berpeluang berjumpa dengan pelajar2 Jerman yang belajar bahasa Melayu di sana. Saya amat kagum. Mereka amat masih berbahasa Melayu berbanding kami yang belajar bahasa Jerman. Mereka fasih berbahasa Melayu mungkin kerana mereka dapat buat praktikal di Malaysia dengan syarikat2 Jerman di sini atau di Indonesia. Kami hanya belajar berdasarkan persekitaran di sini saja.

Sepanjang di sana, hanya ada dua orang melayu dan seorang saja india di dalam kumpulan kami. Semua bercakap dalam bahasa inggeris antara satu sama lain. Saya sebenarnya tak larat nak cakap English, saya rasa boring. Saya tahu guru pengiring saya guru bahasa Inggeris dan ini membuatkan makin ramai yang asyik speaking tak habis2. Saya jadi bosan maka saya pun hentam cakap Melayu dengan semua orang. Saya orang Melayu Malaysia nak cakap BM.

Perangai orang Malaysia yang suka bercakap bahasa Inggeris berbanding Bahasa Melayu terkena sindiran semasa di Jerman dulu.

Semasa di Universiti Frankfurt, Prof. Bernd Nothofer kata bahawa kebanyakan orang Malaysia lebih banyak bercakap dalam Bahasa Inggeris berbanding Bahasa Melayu sesama sendiri. Beliau bertanya kepada kami sama ada kami lebih banyak bercakap bahasa Inggeris atau Melayu semasa kami. Jawapan dari kumpulan saya (saya hanya berdiam diri), 60% bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris apabila bercakap dengan semasa sendiri. Lagi 40% penggunaan dalam bahasa Melayu. 40% tu mungkin hanya untuk keadaan tertentu sahaja. Mungkin semasa membeli makanan di gerai melayu atau nasi kandar?

Saya masih ingat semasa di Fachhochschule Konstanz, Prof Weber boleh lagi beri amaran, katanya "Di dalam bilik ini hanya dibenarkan bercakap bahasa Melayu dan Bahasa Jerman sahaja." Semasa pembentangan tentang kursus bahasa yang ditawarkan di USM kepada pelajar2 Jerman, riak muka pelajar Jerman dan prof W berubah apabila mendengar ungkapan istilah bahasa Malaysia sehingga perlu diterangkan Bahasa Malaysia itu adalah Bahasa Melayu cuma sekarang dikenali sebagai B. Malaysia.

Adakah kerana sikap orang Malaysia gemar berbahasa Inggeris berbanding bahasa Melayu menyebabkan ramai pelajar di sana lebih minat berbahasa Melayu indonesia. Memang tidak salah bercakap mana2 satu sama ada bahasa Melayu Malaysia atau indonesia seperti juga bahasa Inggeris Amerika atau pun bahasa Inggeris British. Tetapi agak memalukan apabila rakyat Malaysia sendiri tidak pandai bercakap bahasa Melayu dengan fasih. Saya masih ingat pensyarah saya menegur pelajar cina di dalam kuliah, "Apek jual ikan lebih pandai bahasa Melayu berbanding kamu". Satu ungkapan yang amat pedas. Saya sendiri terasa sedangkan mereka boleh lagi tersengih.

Bahasa Melayu adalah bahasa perpaduan di Malaysia. Namun begitu tidak ramai yang menghargainya. Mungkinkah kerana Melayu bukan bangsa superior pada mata kalian?Bukan bahasa ekonomi atau teknologi? Hanya suatu bahasa untuk berkomunikasi dengan orang Melayu sahaja? Teruk sangatkah martabat bahasa Melayu sehingga perlu dibuat bulan Bahasa yang hanya akan menjadi acara tahunan di dalam kalendar. Kadang-kadang saya rasa ahli politik perlu buka fikiran. Mereka yang perlu buat resolusi bahasa. Satu reformasi bahasa Melayu dan bukan merosakkannya atau merendahkan martabatnya. Bahasa Melayu boleh pergi jauh. Bahasa Melayu boleh jadi bahasa sains dan teknologi kalau para pembuat-keputusan- suka- hati- di -atas -itu berfikir luar dari kotak. Kami, rakyat hanya boleh menjerit, membenci, menulis, meluah segala isi hati tapi tiada kuasa untuk berbuat apa-apa.

Mungkin suatu hari nanti, bahasa Melayu di Malaysia hilang seperti tulisan jawi yang diwarisi dan diagungkan sejak dahulu lagi. Hilang sudah satu khazanah agung. Apa lagi tinggal untuk Melayu? Baju kurung?

A Non-muslim Hijabi?

2007-09-04T11:56:00.001+08:00

I was amazed when i first watched her video on u-tube. Never crossed my mind someone who is not a Muslim would wear it. Except for some cases like my Indian- Hindu teacher when I was in SGGS, she was wearing headscarf cause she was doing her religious duty. (Do I need to eleborate here? I think some of us have seen it before). She has her own reason for choosing to wear it and some of her reasons are just like the reasons why muslims women wear hijab/kopftuch/ tudung (besides that God asked us to wear it too).

Hijab is not an oppression. It would be an oppression to us ,Muslims when we're not allowed to wear it. Just like it's an oppression towards us when the call of prayers aren't allowed. It would be an oppression toward us when we're not allowed to pray 5 times a day.

Why some Muslim women don't wear Hijab? You can ask them:) They have the answer.

Yep, i know some Hijabis don't reflect the real ideal Muslimah (muslim woman).

And

Some hijabis wearing it with tight jeans or short sleeves blouse or t-shirt which is wrong.

It should be something loose. Not loose jeans or slack that other people can see what colour of ur "inner cloth" for tuesday or wednesday.

btw, to know Islam start with the Quran, no Muslim is perfect. We're just human.

here's the link if u want to watch the vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhStaPuJnSc

4 those who already have the inner calling to wear headscarf and those who already wearing it, May Allah makes us strong and keep on wearing it forever. Amin. Huhu. A reminder for myself ( and U,of course).Allah will test us anytime.

Mana Skrol Aku?!!

2007-08-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

Mood: Bengang tahap gaban!
Emosi: Trauma tahap cipan!

Pagi semalam aku dan Pura pergi ke U untuk mengambil skrol dan transkrip tamat pengijazahan kami. Transkrip dan skrol aku ditahan sebab aku masih ada hutang di perpustakaan kata kerani yang bertugas. Aku terkejut sebab aku memang dah pulangkan buku yang aku pinjam. Aku cuba tenangkan hati dan menganggap mungkin aku ada terlepas tak bayar denda apabila pulangkan buku walaupun itu agak mustahil sebab aku kalau hantar buku memang terus ke kaunter dan tak masukkan buku pada kotak pemulangan.

Maka aku pun pergi ke perpustakaan dan terus ke kaunter pinjaman buku. Apabila kad matrik aku diskan aku lagilah terkejut apabila skrin menunjukkan aku ada meminjam buku sociology. Aku bertambah berang sebab aku tak pernah pinjam buku begitu sepanjang aku di U. Buku aku selalu kimia dan bahasa asing saja. Dengan nada bengang aku cakapla yang aku tak pinjam buku tu. Abang library tu pula kata dengan nada yang sungguh bersahaja (seolah2 aku yang berdalih) aku mungkin ada memberi kad kepada kawan untuk meminjam buku ke. Aku bangkang habisan. Aku cakap "mana mungkin saya pinjam. Saya bukan budak sosio saya dari skul kimia! Saya tak ada kawan budak sosio pun!". Oleh kerana suara nyaringku telah naik tahap "sheikhnya". Abang tu suruh masuk ke dalam pejabat library.

Semasa kat dalam tu, abang tu cek satu file salinan surat yang dihantar kepada pelajar yang ada hutang dengan library. Abang tu cari dengan perlahan, satu persatu, kemudian patah balik bermula dari surat pertama. Aku geram. Aku terus terkam file tu dan kata, "Nama saya Siti! Huruf Slah!" Abang tu masih lagi relaks, "Oh.. siti.." katanya sambil ketawa. Hati aku memang panas. Rasa macam nak cabut saja kuku panjang abang tu!Sebab ini isu besar. Harga buku yang nak dibayar bukan sedikit boleh mencapai ratusan ringgit! Surat aku dicari tapi tak jumpa. Aku kata kat dia, "Sumpah, demi Allah saya tak pinjam buku tu."

Kemudian abang tu suruh aku duduk di sofa yang ada kat situ. Dia cari buku tu. Kemudian dia pas pula kat kawan dia suruh cari kat rak simpanan buku. Muka aku masam mencuka. Habis satu pejabat aku lepas geram. Tenung tajam! Tak puas hati! Ini satu penganiyaan! Dalam hati aku nekad. Aku takkan bayar walaupun aku tak dapat skrol sebab aku tak pinjam buku tu. Aku tak puas hati. Aku tak la lupa nak berdoa agar buku tu dijumpai.

Selepas lebih kurang 15 minit, kawan dia bagitau yang buku tu ada. Aku pun duduk di meja untuk dapatkan borang pelepasan bayaran hutang library. Aku masih lagi marah. Nada aku masih lagi keras. "Buku tu ada ke tak?". Abang tu mengangguk. Saya lagila geram, "Macam mana kamu buat kerja? buku yang saya tak pinjam boleh kamu kata saya pinjam!" Abang tu kata yang ada kes orang bagi kad matrik kat member untuk pinjam. Kemudian abang tu pula menyuarakan rasa peliknya kat aku, "Buku ni buku red spot dan tak boleh bawa keluar. Pelik macam mana buku ni boleh dibawa keluar." Aku pun apa lagi nai sheikhla," Kalau camtu tak payah guna teknologi canggih. Menyusahkan orang saja. Baik guna manual! Ha..kalau buku tu hilang berapa banyak saya kena bayar?!" abang tu cakap mahallah berbanding buku yang bukan red sport yang hilang. Settle semua perkara dan saya dah dapat surat perlepasan untuk dapatkan skrol. Syukur.

Teori aku ttg kes ni:

Kawan aku pun kena macam ni juga. Buku dia tak jumpa pun. Kena bayar RM250 kat depa. Kalau tak, NO SCROLL! NO TRANSCRIPT! HIDUP GELAP!
Macam mana buku yang dipinjam termasuk dalam memori kad matrik orang lain. Rasanya bila kad matrik tak berfungsi semasa diskan, maka ada nombor kod student pula ditaip. (ada nombor kat belakang kad matrik lama). Mungkin depa silap key in data.. maka orang lain jadi mangsa!! Salah siapa? salah mereka. Sekarang aku trauma nak pinjam buku kat library sana lagi. Kalau sambung master pun aku rasa aku malas nak bawa keluar buku. Semua ini kes penganiayaan!! Dapat duit lebih cara ini elok ke? Buku ada dalam library tapi duit kami hampa kebas! Pikiaq tengok!Akai ada ka? Bayangkan kalau aku buta2 bayar.

* inilah kali pertama dalam hidup saya, saya jadi amat agresif !!

So, is this the end?

2007-08-28T00:48:00.000+08:00

"kanak-kanak terlebih dos ribena."

18 ogos pukul 8 lebih saya selamat diijazahkan.
Akhirnya selesai juga sejarah 4 tahun tension saya di universiti sakit mental ini.
Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga bagi mereka yang memberi hadiah.
Kalau saya bekerja dan masih ada duit semasa majlis konvo kalian, saya akan membalas kalau diizinkan Tuhan.
Malam sebelum hari konvo, saya tidak tidur nyenyak. Saya tidak suka acara gilang-gemilang ini.Saya tidak suka majlis pagi-pagi hari.
Mengantuk.
Pagi 18 Ogos tu, selepas saja solat Subuh, saya, mak dan bapa mulakan perjalanan. Perut kami kosong. Tak sempat nak bersarapan.
Memandangkan kereta bapa saya masih belum diperbaiki oleh pak cik seorang ini, maka saya dan famili kena naik van ikan bapa saya. Best gila naik. Sesuatu yang unik. Sesuatu yang nostalgik.
Van putih dan usang. Bau ikan memenuhi ruang terutama di bahagian tempat duduk saya yang memang pak gunakan untuk letak tong2 ikan. Best gila.
Sesuatu yang patut dikenang.Saya bangga jadi anak nelayan bekas pensyarah di Serdang.
Sampai saja di USM, bapa saya berbangga kerana dapat "park" vannya di tempat
letak kereta VIP USM.
Cepat-cepat saya turun, lumur minyak wangi pada jubah warna ungu, warna di raja britain. Tapi jubah saya tak bau ikan kuat sangat rasanya. Tak tahula pula kalau orang lain yang bau.Hehehe.
Selepas tu saya terus pergi ke Dewan Kuliah N, untuk mengambil nombor giliran. Terima kasih bagi mereka yang sudi mendandan saya. Inilah kali pertama saya pakai kain tudung silang. Selalu lepas je. Malas.
Saya tidak ada kamera jadi hanya menyibuk guna kamera orang lain. Terima kasih dan jangan lupa hantar gambar tu kat saya nanti. Kang saya tak ada satu gambar pun...buat kenangan.
Huhu. :P

Sekian

In the Club..lalala..

2007-08-17T14:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sitting with my non-muslim friends who drink alcohol or eat pork. They might not notice it sometimes but the feeling is there. The feeling of guilt and my heart sreams "I wanna go home". It's not their fault anyway for not noticing it. Anyway, they don't even know the etiquettes of Muslim religious law. At first I don't really mind when I have to spend my time with them while they have their drinks or eating pork but when it comes so often almost everyday, I do felt uneasy. However, i have no rights to say anything cause I need to tolerate too cause it is not easy to find Halal restaurant near our visiting place (while I was in Germany) and of course they wanted to eat and enjoy German foods and atmosphere. ( and they really missed rice and kept on complaining about German food which is served in an amount which an Asian could not finish it..and ya, they couldn't take anymore saurkraut..hehehe) I wanted too and I did but I enjoyed the German culture and atmosphere in different way and perspectives.

When I was in Konstanz, we had a walk at nite. Just wandering around our hotel area. Suddenly, everyone stopped at a night club ( I supposed cause I could see a lot of colourful shining bulbs from inside of that place). Just imagine when everyone went inside and I was left alone outside calming myself and I was thinking to go back to my hotel. I am the minority there. The only muslim in my team that night. Two of my non-muslims friends who didn't go inside the club yet, asked me whether I could go inside or not? Of course the answer is no. I am wearing hijab (Hijab is not just to cover my hair and part of my body but also my actions that is against the teaches of Islam). Just imagine if I would go inside, I would be famous!! I would be the lady of the night. Or might also be chase out. Hehehe...But the real facts is I would actually makes people misunderstood about Islam.

After a while comforting myself and both of my good friends were thinking what shud they do, all of my team who went inside the club including the chaperon (our english teacher) and also the tour guide, Nicholas came out and planned to find a new place to drink. I asked one of them why didn't they stay in the club. She told me that Nicholas said it is too early and not many people in the Club yet. So no heat atmosphere in the club, yet I guess. It was too early for German to shake their booty then hehehe. ( Maybe they realize that I was not inside the club with them, so they came out). I was relieve to hear that and I hope that we won't stopped at any more pubs or clubs. But fortunately, Allah was testing me again hehehe. So we stopped at a place call IRISH PUB. So again i felt that God took my breath again. As we arrived to the pub ( it is not like pub here in Malaysia, it just like a drinking place), R and W rushed inside the pub, I was already feeling like drowning in my own guilt. Nicholas and Kiau Ceh if i am not mistaken called them out and asked them to sit outside the bar. It was after rained and most of the tables and chairs were wet. This was really topping up my guilty feeling. It was as if I was responsible of spoiling their evening. Everyone was busy combining the tables and putting the chairs. Some were busy padding the raining water on their chairs with tissues. I was screaming inside. I was screaming in my heart for 2 reasons: I spoilt their evening and I can't spend my time there.

Where on earth do you find a Hijabi sitting outside a pub? It is forbidden for me to do that. OK the next day, I heard R was talking shit about me not being open-minded cause of the pub incident. I was mad at her but I just keep it in my heart and sad ( I cried for this stupid thing) cause I understand Hindu could not eat beef but why couldn't she understand my religion. Nope, we are not enemies just because of that. I do forgive people but never forget what you've done. Sadly, she's still an ignorant till now.

Anyway, I have some talks with my friends whether a Muslim can sit or socialized with non-muslims friends at a place that serve alcohol drinks or at a table where alcohol is being drunk. Some said it is ok. Some said I don't know. Some guess it is ok. Some say No. Hmm...if I used my common sense i would feel not ok cause it is already forbidden thing to carry, to serve, to manufacture, to sale, to distribute, and to transport and to drink. If u sell grapes to a person who are making alcohol or wine from it. Then it is counted as a sin .

I still remember how uneasy it felt when a bottle of beer stood on a table which was right in front of me. It felt like as if I am the one who was drinking it. When i was doing the "cheers/prost" thinggy, i would hold my glass higher than the one who was holding a glass or beer, just as a percaution . Who knows suddenly 1 microlitre would jump into my drink.

Why is it still wrong even though that i didn't consume it?
I think it is because people could suspected me consuming alcohol and also would make non-muslims and also muslims confused about Islam.

Some excerpt from the fatwa that I found on the net.

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day must not sit at table at which khamr is consumed." - Ahmad & Tirmidhi

"As a rule, it is Haram to sit with people drinking wine for the Prophetic Hadith reported by Ahamad and Abu Dawood : 'Whoever believes in Allah and The Last Day should not share in a table on which wine is served.'
But, if one is forced, then he should sit at a table on which wine is not served (i.e. in the same place) and if it is served, one has to object frankly and to tells them that such an action (drinking and meeting with drinkers) is Haram in Islam. Then, one has to state that others are to respect his stand and feelings."

A Muslim is asked to show great concern for his religion. So, he should not be present at any place where Allah's commands are violated. This is how I am going to live then. I still can mix with non-muslims friends but at halal restaurant, drinking hot chocolate or coconut shake. There's a lot of ways to integrate with one another, not just eating at a restaurant, right! *wink*wink*
Allah knows best.

references:
Can we eat in Non Muslim Restaurants?
we don't consume any of the Haram food. Is it Haram for us to stay in those places?
Will I get any punishment for doing that and is it true that it will waste my praying for 40 days?

Do correct me if I am wrong cause I am a learner.

Lahmun +Laziz=Kenyang

2007-08-16T20:55:00.000+08:00

Sepanjang aku berada di German, aku menjadi penganut setia vegetarian..ahaha akhirnya impian tercapai tak makan daging. Yerla everyday, makan kat restoran yang memang tidak diyakini Halal and Toyibba (halal dan bersih).Hanya dua kali saja aku makan makanan halal, hanya di Koeln (Cologne). Sepanjang di sana memang everyday makan bersama-sama di restoran, menjamah daging khinzir bersama beer atau apple wine atau apa saja minuman beralkohol tak lupa jus buahan2. Mereka sungguh suka air Fanta oren atau limau. Kat mana2 semua kedai ada air fanta. So aku mmg sabar tahan gaban jela. Rasa tidak selesa memang wujud, bukan kerana aku anti-khinzir tapi bau minuman keras memang meloyakan. Sebenarnya kalau diikutkan sebagai orang Islam tak dibenarkan berada ditempat yang menyediakan alkohol atau pun khinzir. Ya aku masih bertoleransi, Nicholas. Toleransi penting dalam hal ini walaupun sampai makan hati, sampai menangis seorang diri. Agamaku paling bertoleransi dan darah Melayu Indiaku juga penuh toleransi.

Akhirnya semasa berada di Koeln, Nicholas mahu berubah angin (selepas diketuk). Maka buat pertama kalinya, pada minggu kedua itu, aku dapat menikmati daging halal beramai-ramai. Hari kedua masih di koeln, hanya tinggal aku seorang saja muslim di dalam kumpulan, Sakina ada hal. Maka malam itu, kami semua makan di restoran cina di sebelah kedai arab tu.Sebelum kami masuk, semua orang sibuk melihat menu diluar kedai. Ada yang tak mahu makan di situ kerana mengingatkan masakan ibu di rumah. Aku tidak kisah mereka makan di situ, sebab aku nak makan kat kedai arab tu ..heheh . Ya la aku perlukan protein jugak. Aku memang letih kat German. Siap mengantuk lagi masa dok depan lecturers di sana. Tersenguk-senguk aku tahan mengantuk . Dahla duk depan pensyarah. kesian pensyarah tu.

Okla balik pada cerita asal, aku pun singgah le ke kedai arab tula "Lebanese Garden" seorang diri memandangkan semua member makan di restoran tu. Aku masuk je dan duduk kat bench menunggu yang sungguh empuk. Ada seorang mamat American dok order. Tukang masak tu kita panggil Kassim yang waiter panggil Mustafa. Aku pun order kat Kassim yang tengah masak untuk mamat tu. Aku kata nombor 7.Dia senyum dan ketawa kecil sebab tahu aku tak tau nak sebut perkataan arab dalam tulisan rumi tu. Semasa tengah masak masakan aku tu, tiba-tiba si Kassim tanya aku, "Muslim?" sambil tanganya menunjukkan kain tudung aku tu. Aku pun mengangguk. " why no salam?" Dia berbicara dalam bahasa inggeris dan german bercampur2. Dia tahu aku dari kumpulan semalam. Aku hanya tersengih macam kerang busuk dan sedar kesilapan aku. Yerla kita tak pernah pun pi kedai mamak ke melayu ke beri salam. Akula tak pernah beri salam kat kedai2. Hanya ada akad masa membeli saja. Kemudian aku pun beri Salam. Mereka menjawab dengan gembira. Si Kassim tu siap menganggukkan kepala sambil tersenyum. "ha..now it is right.." kata si Kassim tu. Kemudian Mustafa yang duduk relax di meja makan bertanya pula, "Indonesian?" waduh, bung.. "Nein,nein, ich komme aus Malaysia" (aku dari mesia) aku menjawab. "ahso.. kann Arabisch?" tanya si Mustafa lagi.. Aku hanya menggelengkan kepala. (ini kali kedua orang terkejut aku tak tau Arab, first masa oral test ngan Frau Siti ,last semester) Si Kassim pula meyampuk dengan nada terkejut dan aneh, "Warum? Du bist Muslim. How do u read the Quran?" katanya dalam german bercampur inggeris. Aku tak tau nak explain dalam german. AKu bantai english aku cakap aku baca translation sekalila. Dia mengangguk dan ketawa. Kemudian, aku cakapla kat depa, "Ich sprache nicht Arabisch aber ich hoere Arabiche musik, like Najwa Ajram, Najwa Ghamza, Fadl Shaker.." Si Mustafa perbetulkan Najwa Ghamza takda , Najwa Karim ada. HEhe Ghamza tu lagu. Kassim mencelah lagi, "U like Fadl Shaker?" aku hanya mengangguk . "We have Fadl Shaker songs" kata si Kassim dan terus menukar lagu Arab wanita yg tengah berkumandang kepada lagu Fadl Shaker..hehe. "Music is Haram" katanya sambil ketawa. Aku nak perbetulkan konsep haram musik dlam islam tu tapi tak mampu nak cakap dalam german. Kang aku cakap omputeh tak paham pulak. Hehe ..aku buat muka pelik dan mengelengkan kepala" Ich hoere Musik aber wenn es ist Adzhan, i off it" Broken deutsch :D. Kemudian,kami berbicara tentang musik arab sikit heheh then aku sempat tanya mereka ini dari lahir di mana. Kassim orang german berketurunan Lebenon dan si Mustafa dari Syria. Mustafa tanya adakah aku belajar di sana? Huhu tidak2 .Lepas tu aku pun mengambil makanan aku dari Kassim dan cakap terima ksih dalam bhs arab . Nasib baik terlintas dalam otak aku ayat tu. Mereka menjawb balik dalam bhs arab sambil tersenyum... dan aku tak paham. huhu. tapi tulah third time memang communicate habis aku dalam broken german. The end.Best yang teramat. Dapat gak aku melalut dalam bhs german( dalam keadaan yg semput2).

YA AKU TAK RETI TULIS CERITA PENDEK-PENDEK:D

---->yang tinggi Kassim, yang satu lagi Mustafa

The Last Jew Of Babylon

2007-08-12T02:04:00.000+08:00

The last Jew of Babylon. This is a story about Ezra an Arabic Jew. His quest to search for his long love, Daisy. What so interesting about his story anyway for a Muslim like me beside this love story. If you watch the whole 2 video clips (courtesy of Utube), you will see his life as a Jew in Arab land. Notice what's in his house and listen to what language he prefers to speak. You will listen to some Islamic term such as Alhamdulillah which means "Praise be to Allah". Allah means God. It actually an Arabic word. So it doesn't matter what religion you are, the word Allah is still being referred as God. The God. The One God. It is not used only to refer God for Muslims. Second thing that makes me stuck to his story was he is actually an Arabic Jew, an Iraqi Jew not European Jew (who started the establishment of Israel). They are not the same because the acceptance of Israelites towards Arab people even though that they are Jew is not very good. Well, he said that in the video clip too. So if u are an Arab Jew ,once you have become apart of Israelites , you must speak Hebrew. Israel got problem with Arabs. Arabs here means people of Arabic countries not just Muslims and most Arabs are not Muslims. Those who read Arab and Israel: Conflict or Conciliation written Allahyarham (The late) Ahmad Deedat would know what am I saying. Third, he's proud to be ARAB.Fourth, I just love his character!!

This is the second part of his story:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kFfALczx44o

Experiment 101: Salams

2007-08-09T01:47:00.000+08:00

Have you ever bump to any Muslim in Malaysia that you don't even know him/ her personally here and say Salam to them? ( I mean not to give Salam and then flirt, especially guys ) Did he or she ignore you? Or she or he might looked at you and seemed thinking "Do I know her..?" and make that silly face. I just wanna say, " where's your brotherhood?" ahaha or is it not really apply in Malaysia. I mean maybe there's a lot of Muslims around here, I guess.

So here was the experiment:

--->naila, lovely,innit!

Something that would be lovely to do outside of the country and not here in Malaysia . Greeting to the muslim peeps. So sakina tried to a one or 3 muslim women that we saw on the streets. It was fun and we love doing it. When we were in Freiburg, our salam ( greetings) being answered by a lady and her lovely 14 year old daughter. I think it was in Mueller at the Toy section.Both of them were paying at the counter and we just arrived at the toy section. We saw them and smile and said "Assalamualaikum". Both of them answered and smiled at us. I was so happy. It was so lovely something different. The feeling is different. It was so pure and sincere. After a while, I met them again at a lane near a book shop. From afar I saw them and they could see me and still recognized me. We smiled and I went up the lane and shake our hands ( shake like muslims do). Her mom look so excited. " woher kommst du? she asked me where I am from? "Ich komme aus Malaysia". "oh.." she seemed to know where is Malaysia compare to some university's PhD student that we had to draw a map of Malaysia. Then sakina came to me maybe because she felt that we have to rush back to Nicholas and our "troupes" cause we were misunderstood as the " missing in action people". Her mom really wanted to know us more. She asked us whether we want to come here for studying. But sadly we were not. She comes from algeria but her children were born in Germany. She was lovely and so does her daughter. "You are beautiful", Sakina said to Naila while her hand caressing her soft, white cheek. ( Ahaha betul ke ayat membelai tu=caress. I think so..lah)She smiled. Her mom asked her how long would we stay here. We just say that only for 2 weeks. Because we were in a hurry, her mom quickly said in german to her daughter and her daughter translated to us in english that she wants our phone number. her mom quickly took out a small book with square line in it ( just like our math practice books )from her pocket and we wrote it down with my email too. Then we hug and kiss them good bye and rushed to our "troupes". It was devastating when we reach there. I thought we were late but actually everyone was having a good time there watching street show by a young guy which was actually interesting and entertaining and looked like Matt Bellamy. It just that if I could stay longer with them and it would be beautiful experience. Experience with German speakers. That would change a few things i guess. In my head, i wonder why was she was asking our phone numbers. Ehmm..maybe we got free food ahaha yep food. Free food...( yep..talking about empty stomach ahaha) or maybe she wants to see us again cause she might thought that we are studying there. Hmm what a pity. Anyway, love this experience!! Loving it.

Conclusion:
It's true that when u are not around the people with the same race, the religion would come first to make you feel like home in a land far, far away. So start your day with "ASSALAMUALAIKUM" heheh .

Can Muslims get Along with Non-Muslims

2007-08-06T03:55:00.000+08:00

Here are the answers:

teil 1

teil 2

a string of cello, a hymm of soprano

2007-07-28T12:58:00.000+08:00

oh ya saya sudah balik ke Penang dah!! Penang yang best tahap gaban!!:)

( ok what a stupid tittle...I admit it!)

Ort: where ah?adey.. ok at the Historisches Kaufhaus.( apa itu ?jangan tanya. )

We had a chance in a life time in Freiburg to watch opera and German poetry " Musikalisch-Literarische Reise nach Italien" ( Lawatan ke Musik dan sastera Itali - WHOA..teruknya translation aku ). Trying hard to appreciate the beauty of it. I love the second song sang by her ( a soprano). The music was a lil bit rock. Yep..i am good at appreciating anything got to do with cello. Long live Apocalyptica!!! 3X ( ok..well behave now..)

Besides opera, we had the chance to enjoy a poetry in Deutsch. I could catch up only a few things of what he said. So u can imagine when other people laughed their heart out but u just sat quiet with no reaction at all!! I bet that it was indeed something beautiful cause I could see many audience really enjoyed and laughed at what he was saying. of course it would take someone really good in German to understand it but anyhow it was still a chance of a life time!!( read in as if you're so excited when u got to see Yvonne Ridley LIVE giving a talk in USM before!!) . Well totally forgot to tell you guys the atmosphere and the “greeting looks” that I got from there. I guess i am a Muslim , so on that occasion i believed just me and sakina who were wearing headscarf.

As we entered the hall, everyone was looking at us (or staring at us would be the exact word). Mostly the audience were senior citizens. At last we had a place next to a middle aged guy. Sakina was quite sad on that day cause she was missing her aunty, perhaps. We sat quite near the window. The evening breeze came in through the wide open window and it was so freaking cold. I sat between sakina and that middle aged guy. Sakina was still sobbing and I believe that he was like want to know the reason of it. I just smiled at him while comforting her. My blue-blur impulse encoded , “did he think that I am a les?” ahaha what a way of thinking! Thank God I was totally wrong. I felt sorry for him thou cause maybe he couldn't really enjoy the whole show at that night. When the show almost finished, he asked me ,” Where are you from?” I answered him in a high tone; trying to beat the soprano voice as it was still filling the hall.” I am from Malaysia”. “oh…are u studying here?” I answered back ” NO…we just come here just a study trip. where are u from?” ” Oh, I am from United States. My daughter is studying in Munchen. I came here to visit her.” He answered back in high tone too. He asked me again, “Which university do u go?” ” University Science Malaysia” ” what?” he didn’t get what I said just now so i wrote it down on a piece of paper tear from my notes. I made a mistake by spelling science as sains! nice eh..When the lights are on, he asked sakina why she was sobbing. He was worried that maybe we are the victims of Islamphobia. “I thought , you know cause both of you wearing headscarf , both of u might get hurt just now. There are some part of germany where some of them don’t like muslims, you know. But thank God that you don’t face that problem. I am just worried. ahaha” He smiled gladly. I was touched by his attention. Really glad to find someone who was not staring at us weirdly. Anyway, he asked sakina what she was studying and in what year. He asked me too. He’s actually a doctor and his daughter were studying business if I am not mistaken. He said that he wanted to learn architecture but become a doctor instead and i just said spontaneously that ” scientist could understand art but not everyone could understand science.” ” yes , that right!” he said gladly. We shook hands and he moved on. While sakina take her time recoding the whole hall. A small hall with meadievel craft windows. Suddenly ( out of the blue..heheh) an old woman smiled from ear to ear, the way she dress just like old -high class british lady, waving her hand at me just like saying hi and bye at the same time . I was blurred and wondered was she waving at me or to somebody else. Well, what the heck. I just wave and can’t wait to take the S-bahn ( tram)[ i guess ahaha is it S or D -bahn; macam keretapi kabel. Penang used to has a tram before during British occupation and u can still see the trace] to go back to our hotel. I just love the sound of tram.What makes it different than home.

the harp,the performers.

Frankfurt, Hier Komme Ich!!

2007-06-10T09:42:00.000+08:00

esok aku akan berangkat ke sana. Dengan hati yang berat kerana apabila aku balik nanti aku akan "totaly broke". Banyak benda nak dilakukan di sana. Orang lain dalam group aku happy2. Aku lak sakit otak nak bercakap tentang program german di USM ni. Dahla tak prepare apa2 pun sebulan sibuk dengan kerja "writer/botanist" tu. Hashila jangan lupa bagi CD tu kat dr Hasnah ek. Terima kasih. Hati aku pun berat sikit sebab ada program "sprachaustausch" di mana student german cakap bahasa Melayu , student Malaysia spekong "gerbrochenendeutsch" ( broken deutsch). Hashila terima kasih pinjam kamera!! Pura terima kasih pinjam semua benda dan quran kecil tu!! Khairil terima kasih bagi keropok dari terengganu tu.. ehm..kalau aku tak bawa balik " individual buah tangan" jangan marah ek. Doakan aku selamat pergi dan pulang.

Muslim Women Wearing Headscarf--Gimme a break!

2007-06-03T00:10:00.000+08:00

a must watch clip!! A Christian defends Muslim women wearing hijab

We Did It !!! ( our way: slow mo)

2007-05-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

MAKLUMAT AM AKADEMIK PELAJAR
PROGRAM PENGAJIAN :	SAINS (KIMIA)
GELARAN IJAZAH :	SARJANA MUDA SAINS (KEPUJIAN) BACHELOR OF SCIENCE (HONOURS)
PENGKHUSUSAN MAJOR/ BIDANG :	KIMIA
PENGKHUSUSAN MINOR :	TIDAK BERKENAAN
STATUS PENGAJIAN :	BERIJAZAH

Tu aku punya, aku tak buat pengkhususan minor. Aku ambil subjek elektif sahaja.

MAKLUMAT AM AKADEMIK PELAJAR
PROGRAM PENGAJIAN :	SAINS (KIMIA)
GELARAN IJAZAH :	SARJANA MUDA SAINS (KEPUJIAN) BACHELOR OF SCIENCE (HONOURS)
PENGKHUSUSAN MAJOR/ BIDANG :	KIMIA
PENGKHUSUSAN MINOR :	PENGAJIAN ISLAM
STATUS PENGAJIAN :	BERIJAZAH

Tu Safuraa punya. Dia ambil minor. Pengajian Islam. Pura ni adalah kawan seperjuangan dan lab partner aku sejak dari Tahun 1-Tahun 4.

Selepas ini ke mana arah kita ye pura..hehehe.

Perutusan Keputusan Peperiksaan

2007-05-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

Malam ni berpusu2 warga USM tgk result. Aku pun tak ketinggalan. Ingatkan lambat lagi ..tiba2 adrian dan khairil cakap result dah keluar. Apa lagi..aku cekla tapi tak boleh masuk laman web registry tu. Rasanya result aku kena bar kut sebab tak bayaq yuran lagi sem ni. Entah bila nak bayaq. Serius takda duit..huhu. Rasanya aku akan cuba bayar lepas balik german sebelum sem baru buka 10/7 hehehe. Oh ya..tapi tadi cek balik dapat dah result sem terakhir di USM.
Alhamdulillah result kali ni. Tak sangka German dapat bagus takla bagus sangat tapi kira atas B plus..dahla tak cukup masa nak jawap, grammar ke mana aku ke mana, tak dapat fikir satu perkataan pun, adjective german memang hancur..ikut suka hati aku ja tambah ending -e ke -en ke apa ke..semua balun. Tak sempat nak jawap satu page tu...memang takda masa. Memang nak nagis dah...tapi tawakkal jerla..malas dah nak fikir. Akhir2 sem ni bila rasa nak grad rasanya semua main hentam tak da mood dah..huwaa tak boleh begitu. Tapi sem inilah result terbaik berbanding sem2 lain.

-sudah tak larat menghafal. Kali ni nak gunakan tanganja aka buat research ja. Amin-
kak hani, saya tidak cinta kimia hanya ada perasaan sayang nak tinggalkan. Nak gi Kustem!! heheh-

Nak jadi apa?

2007-05-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Saya tertanya2 apa yang saya patut buat dengan kehidupan saya. Saya sudah habis belajar. Tapi keinginan nak bekerja dengan syarikat2 sebagai chemist atau QA atau consultant tidak wujud. Saya tidak berminat. Hati saya berat bila saya nak minta syarikat yang ditawarkan oleh Dr. Hasnah. Kawan2 saya yang lain berlumba2 memohon kerja dan pergi berbelas2 interview. Saya pula hanya duduk di rumah dan terus sahaja menerima tawaran dr Hasnah untuk bekerja dengannya.Entah mengapa tugasan menulis buku ini lebih penting bagi saya berbanding memohon kerja dengan syarikat2 lain. Mungkin sebab memang impian saya untuk menulis buku atau memang impian saya untuk belajar tentang tumbuhan ubatan yang saya inginkan sejak kecil lagi. Masa kecil dulu saya telah lama berangan2 hendak menjadi saintis yang mengkomersialkan tumbuhan2 herba mengikut negara dan tidak perlu bergantung kepada ubatan sintetik. Hmm entahla.

Impian saya hanya untuk menjadi saintis bekerja dengan sirim atau mosti atau jabatan kimia atau lebih tepat lagi saya mahu menjadi pensyarah. Hati saya lebih cenderung ke arah itu. Saya tidak fikir tentang duit yang besar lagi tapi saya harap saya boleh langsaikan hutang ptptn saya secepat mungkin. Biar pun buat masa ini gaji saya teramatlah kecil tapi saya harap dapat juga membayar ptptn dan juga hutang dengan teacher saya untuk ke German itu. Pengalaman kerja memang penting tapi entahlah hati saya berat hendak memohon kerja.

Kalau ikutkan perancangan hati saya, saya hendak kerja setahun dengan dr Hasnah supaya saya pandai menggunakan alat2 dan seterusnya baru mohon master selepas itu baru mohon kerja. Kalau tidak saya akan terus cuba untuk menjadi pensyarah. Perancangan memang mudah dan saya harap ia akan menjadi kenyataan. Saya mahu menjadi saintis /pensyarah. Amin.

Chemist to Botanist

2007-05-18T09:28:00.000+08:00

Huhu..letihnyer menulis tiap2 hari. Mencari jurnal tiap2 hari. Menulis tentang fakta bukan tugas yang mudah. Tambah2 jika seseorang itu jenis perfectionist. Penat2 dahulu, kepuasan akan datang kemudian. InsyaAllah. Harap2 boleh siapkan buku tu dalam masa 2-3 bulan. Then insyaAllah harap2 aku boleh stat kerja dalam lab sintesis c-glikosida lagi. Buat masa sekarang otak aku hanya tumpu pada tumbuhan herba je memanjang. Masa naik bas pun tengok tumbuh-tumbuhan yang tumbuh di tepi jalan. Semua ada value tapi tahap kesucian dipertikaikan sebab ..paham2 sendirilah tumbuhan tu tepi jalan. Penat bulan ni. kena siapkan perbentangan cross-culture dan tentang Frankfurt dan Konstanz. Matila..kena brush up speaking german. Aku letih..betullah kata Pura..aku tak pernah rehat...ada saja kerja..Apa2 pun kena prepare gak hal2 agama..semoga Allah kuatkan iman dan kuatkan azam untuk 'settle'kan buku tumbuhan herba ni..Medicinal plant and its phytochemicals ..ahaha daku je buh tajuk tu. Tgkla Dr cakap apa nanti. Hmmm tiba2 rasa nak balik ke blog asal..malas dah blog kat blog baru..ahaha adey....otak tengah tak centre!

"betullah menjadi penulis buku2 ilmu bukan senang ye,Paula bruice!"

Monsoon

2007-05-03T09:27:00.001+08:00

WOw..what a transition!
Saya baru saja selesai menghabiskan kesemua subjek yang perlu diambil untuk menamatkan ijazah sarjana muda kimia saya dan pada malam ini saya kembali kepada hidup saya yang asal sebelum masuk USM. Saya solo kembali. Sedih yang teramat tapi pasrah. Sekarang ni tumpukan betul2 pada pencapaian ekonomi dan masa depan saya. Saya perlu kerja dan perlu pandai bercakap dalam bahasa german. Saya tak sabar nak belajar bahasa Arab dan Perancis. Sekarang saya berdiri di kaki sendiri. Keputusan semua di tangan saya. Saya tak mahu dipengaruhi oleh ibu dan bapa saya dalam membuat keputusan hidup saya. Saya dan mus hanya berkawan tapi tak tahulah sama ada saya kuat nak berkawan balik..rasa nak rehat sekejap. Letih. Mak dan pak dah bising saya tak mula kerja lagi. Penatnya jadi anak sulung. Huhu.

Going Solo

2007-04-30T09:22:00.001+08:00

Exams are over. I am going to Germany soon ( 11-22 june). Unfortunately not to further my master there but just a quick visit to many interesting places and universities. From Frankfurt to Konstanz to Freiburg to Aachen to Cologne and to Frankfurt again. We will visit Senckenberg Museum, Firma Altana Pharma, Black Forest, Max Planck Institute for Plant Breeding Research, Chocolate Museum Imhoff, and Centre for Molecular Medicine of University Cologne. We will also be visiting uni of Frankfurt, Konstanz,Freiburg, Fachhochschule Aachen, and uni of Cologne. With no money in hands at last my teacher lend me RM1000 while another RM3000, I have to use my savings. I'm broke now..I haven't top up my phone credit for almost a month.

I don't want to go at first but then some problem occured and I have to go. I am really worried with prayers and the temptation ( food!!). I hope Allah makes my life easier there. Ameen.Only two Muslims in our team ( me and sakina). The rest are non muslims. She used to go to Munich before. I really hope that she knew where to pray. She already plan to bring the kiblat compass. I hope she could pray while we are there.

Anyway, the journey is a solo journey. I am going there in a group but my spiritual journey is a solo journey. A solo journey for both of us ( me and sakina). May Allah helps us along the way. Ameen.

Khatam

2007-04-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

Apa Habaq semua??
HEHe Alhamdulillah, akhirnya perjuangan saya selama 4 tahun telah selesai jumaat baru2 ini. Saya amat berharap saya akan grad bulan 8 tahun ini. Tiba-tiba saya rasa nak buka blog baru. KUBU EKSPRESI VOL 2 pula. Penghijrahan saya dari AlaM U ke Alam Nyata. Nak kata alam kerjaya belum lagi dapat kerja. Hanya baru dunia research assistant saja. Saja nak senaraikan kat sini subjek yang saya ambil sepanjang pengajian saya di universiti sakit mental,universiti seksi malaysia, uni sgt miskin, uni sayang menyayang, uni suka makan ( malam), lagi apa eh...banyak sangat gelaran.

sepanjang 4 tahun di uni sakit mental ni saya belajar…

Year 1 sem 1:

KIMIA ANALISIS I
KIMIA TAKORGANIK I
KIMIA AMALI AM II
BAHASA MALAYSIA IV
KALKULUS UNTUK PELAJAR SAINS I
STATISTIK UNTUK PELAJAR SAINS
LATIHAN BANTUAN KECEMASAN BULAN SABIT MERAH PERINGKAT PERTAMA ( drop semester 2 tahun 1)

Year 1 sem 2:

GENETIK
KIMIA FIZIK I
KIMIA ORGANIK I
KIMIA AMALI AM I

Kursus Semasa Cuti Panjang:

KIMIA TAKORGANIK I

Year 2 sem 1:

TAMADUN ISLAM DAN TAMADUN ASIA (TITAS) 2
KIMIA ANALISIS II
PEWARNA INDUSTRI
KIMIA ORGANIK II
KIMIA TAKORGANIK II
AMALI KIMIA V - ANALISIS
AMALI KIMIA VI - ORGANIK
BAHASA INGGERIS AKADEMIK

Year 2 sem 2:

KIMIA ANALISIS: AMALI LANJUTAN
KIMIA FIZIK II
SAINS KOLOID DAN PERMUKAAN
OPERASI UNIT
KIMIA HASILAN SEMULAJADI
AMALI KIMIA III - TAKORGANIK
AMALI KIMIA - FIZIK
BAHASA INGGERIS SAINTIFIK DAN PERUBATAN

Year 3 sem 1:

TAMADUN ISLAM DAN TAMADUN ASIA (TITAS) I
KIMIA FIZIK III
KIMIA TAKORGANIK III
AMALI KIMIA VIII - FIZIK DAN ORGANIK
TAJUK TERKINI KIMIA FIZIK
BAHASA JERMAN I

Year 3 sem 2:

KIMIA FIZIK II
SAINS KOLOID DAN PERMUKAAN
PROJEK KIMIA
AMALI KIMIA VII - TAKORGANIK DAN ANALISIS
BAHASA JERMAN II

Year 4 sem 1:

KIMIA FIZIK III
KIMIA ORGANIK III
PROJEK KIMIA
BAHASA JERMAN III

Year 4 sem 2:

CELLULAR BIOCHEMISTRY
FOOD AND PALM OIL CHEMISTRY
CURRENT TOPICS ON INDUSTRIAL CHEMISTRY
BAHASA JERMAN IV

TOTAL SUBJECTS ( INCLUDING REPEAT+ AUDIT): 47

Wednesday with Sue

2007-04-29T09:17:00.001+08:00

It was a very hot day in Penang. Me and Sue had to pick up our passport at 2 o'clock at the Penang's immigration office. It's just 11.30 am so we decided to have our lunch at Padang Kota. We bought our food from a Malay rice stall opposite the Penang main post office. Sue was excited cause that was her first time really enjoyed walking in Padang Kota. She used to come here many times but never get the feeling of the real Padang Kota ( esplanade).

After we had eaten everything, I told her that I need to go to the mosque to pray. I told her that she can wait for me at the immigration office but she refused. I was shock when she said she wanted to go the mosque with me. I asked her, "Are u sure? I mean if u feel uneasy u can stay at the immigration office." and she was like really excited to go. I think she did mention that she used to visit a mosque in Seberang Jaya. So we walked together under the hot sun. It was beautiful as this is my first time praying at the Kapitan Keling Mosque. I used to visit it when I was small. As we walked, we past by Little India. I saw a small stall selling Indian delicacies. I remember when my step grandpa still alive, he will buy some Indian delicacies.

When we arrive at the entrance of Kapitan Keling Mosque, I asked her to wait outside the gate first but then I asked her to come in with me so that we can ask permission from the "pak guard". I told her that to enter the mosque u need to cover your hair and wear decent clothes. Apparently, she knew that. Well she did wear decent outfits a pair of jeans ( not low cut ) and a long sleeves T-shirts like she always do. Alhamdulillah, the "pak guard" let her in and I asked her to stay inside the mosque foyer which is near the muslimah corner place to pray. It was still early and Zohor was another 30 minutes. So we chat for a while and she asked why when we,muslims pray facing different directions? What she meant is , the kiblat. It depends in which position u stand facing the Kaabah. Then I told her about our first kiblat in Palestine. It was not really hot in the mosque and the wind blew heavily, easing the hot atmosphere. She was loving it. Suddenly, the "pak guard" came to us and give her a dark blue pamphlet which is written " What Is Islam." on it. Then the "pak guard said to her, "Come, come..there are Chinese language too. Come and take it." He sounded really excited and so did Sue. She picked up a lot of pamphlet in Chinese language with so many colours , blue,green,pink,yellow and so on with different issues like "Who is Allah", "Cleanliness in Islam" , "Women in Islam" and many more. I hope she really read it and not just wasted it. I don't push her to read but it would be nice if she read it.

As the azan ( call for prayer) feeling the empty air, I took my wudhuk ( ablution ) and began to pray. I was excited cause at last I have the chance to pray at Kapitan Keling Mosque which was actually a place where I just came to read my story book when I was small while waiting my dad finished his praying. Well, that was my first experience with my non muslim friend who came with me to the mosque. This reminds me of an Indian student who came to the library's surau ( small room for praying) and just watch us praying and asked questions on Islam.

-dah lama tak tulis dalam english..kaku sekejap-
a flash site on how to take ablution.

Rehat Sat

2007-03-16T00:01:00.000+08:00

Best Football Moments

Saya rasa...saya akan berhenti menulis untuk masa ini. InsyaAllah selepas final exam nanti saya akan tulis perjalanan hidup terakhir saya. Enjoylah vid clip kat atas tu.=)semoga kalian berbahagia selalu! amin!

Facts : Living in Uni

2007-03-05T01:55:00.000+08:00

apabila dah muak dengan makanan kat kafe aku makanlah

maggi : tom yam saja sesuai dengan air panas yang lain tak jalan

cintan: perisa ayam cendawan diperkenalkan oleh nabihah roomate aku

pama : bihun berlada. serbuk tu boleh menyebabkan rasa otak terencat seketika

mamee: tom yam paling sedap. Tom yam rasa sotong..sebab bukan dalam bentuk hablur poliamorfus tetapi dalam bentuk koloidial teremulsi. Bihun mamee paling best berbanding pama tapi hanya makan tom yam kung sebab perisa ayam tak yakin nak makan.

-intake MSG dalam kandungan darahku tinggi tidak kira sama ada aku makan makanan segera atau makanan kafe kerana makanan kafe yang mesti sihat tanpa penggunaan MSG telah dicabul oleh tukang masak. Sebab itulah aku mudah sakit..-

-the facts of living in uni.-

-It's better eating at school canteen cause at least the consumptions of MSG are less. I miss school days.-

The joys of long relationship

2007-03-04T17:16:00.000+08:00

Greeny: Saya tak pernah dan tak akan celebrate valentine. =)

Mus telah bertanya sama ada saya mahu menjadi isterinya buat kali kedua. Saya pendam tak tak beritahu parents saya lagi. Last week saya tanya emak saya dan dia tidak bersetuju. Saya tak boleh pentingkan diri sendiri hanya kerana dia. Keluarga macam mana pun masih penting. Entahla..saya tidak nampak kehidupan saya dengannya. Dia seorang yang baik dan pandai dalam agama.

Saya pula tidak pandai sangat. Sedih pasti terasa tapi pasti sedih lagi sekiranya tidak dapat melihat atau menjaga ibu bapa saya yang tua ini. Jadi saya perlu tegas dalam keputusan saya . Tak da jodoh nampaknya. Takpalah saya nak belajar di negara orang itu yang penting dan saya nak tunaikan segala impian kerjaya sebelum sambung master insyaAllah.

maaf kepada semua rakan blogger yang saya amat hormati sebab saya memang sudah lama tidak memblog. Sem terakhir ini teramat penting bagi saya dan banyak memberi tekanan. Saya tidak ada idea yang best nak ditulis di blog ini. 9/4/07 nanti final exam sehingga 27/4/07 tak sabar nak melihat dunia before my age reach 30! =) semoga Allah memberkati kalian. Amin

Si Gadis FInland + Islam

2007-01-28T02:51:00.000+08:00

[baca part Si Gadis Finland + Bahasa Melayu dulu..]

Lepas tu, aku pun cakap .." So..do u have any question about Islam?" AKu suruh pura join sekali sebab aku ni bukan pandai sangat. "Yea...if u don't mind..hahaha" " Yeah sure no problem."

Soalan : Why do you wear headscarf ?

It's like a uniform. People know that u are a muslim when they look u are wearing the headscarf. Pura lak menerangkan lebih mendalam ," It's to distinguish a muslim and nonmuslim. Aku cakaplak..actually in Quran we only can show our face and bot of our hands. It's not necessary to wear a veil. If u see here a lot of people wearing headscarf but with short sleeves..that's wrong. ( satu sindrom bahaya...tutup atas bukak bawah!!! ) Dia mengangguk tanda paham. dan aku tambah u can't event hold ur bf hands cause it's forbidden. Dia kira paham kut apa yang aku dan pura terangkan.

Soalan : Why do woman wear the...(sambil tunjuk tangan orang tutup muka) that can only see the eyes?

Pura explained that it's called purdah in Malay or veil in English. Aku cakap it's a tradition for arabic people to wear it..u know..to protect 'em from the sand storm.. and also from other man. U don't really need to wear black veil. Some malaysians wear it too but different colour. It's not a must to be black. Aku cakap lagi yang perempuan arab ni lawa kalau mereka buka purdah di dalam masjid memang cun giler ...

Soalan: If they're wearing that how do you know that the one who is wearing the veil is someone u know?

Ehmm..complicated skit nak answer. Soalan ni Ramesh pernah bertanya soalan yang sama. If u don't notice them ,they'll notice u ..I talk from my experiencelah...Sometimes it's hard to recognize them but u'll know maybe from the way they walk or if they walk with thier children, u'll recognize their children instead.

Soalan : Who can see ur hair?

Our family and woman...I confius masa ni sebab ingat cousin yang sama datuk ngan kita leh tgk rupanya idak. Hampeh tul aku nie..Huwaa... Dia tanya budak2 kecik leh tengok tak rambut kita? aku cakap lehla tapi kalau dia nak sampai "waktu" tak lehla..so prefer not to showlah ..sonang kerja. Dia tanya lagi kalau dia ( bukan islam) tengok leh tak? sebenarnya takleh ( kat sekolah dulu mmg di ajar orang perempuan leh tgk tapi orang lelaki takleh tapi sebenarnya lepas aku masuk U baru aku tau takleh. Aku cakap kat dia roomate aku dulu bukan islam tapi dah dok sebilik aku bukak gakla sebab masa tu tak tau pun takleh tunjuk rambut kat depa. Aku cakap " of course we're not wearing headscarf in the house" Dialak cakap sambil ketawa ," ehe..I thot u are not gonna wear it when u sleep.."

Soalan : if ur husband asked u to wear the veil, will you wear it?

U can discuss about it with ur husband. If u don't want to wear it u can discuss cause it's not a must. Aku ceritalah kat sekolah dulu ada cikgu aku pakai veil gak but later on she's not wearing anymore. Then aku cakap, in Islam u need to obey ur mom before u get married cause di bawah telapak kaki ibu kat situlah syurga kitala. tapi lepas kawin suamiler pula di mana syurga kita menanti..camtula boleh bayangkan nak interpret ayat tu kat dia..hehehe She was surprised at first. " Oh!" ( tat's her favourite word anyway!)

Soalan : If a christian married a muslim does he have to change his religion to islam?

yeah...he has too. But it's really important for him to love the religion first ( lebih mencintai agamala) cause we don't want any prob to occur later in life.

Soalan : Do u ave engagement? Do u need ring for engagement?

yes we do. But it's an option. we can just get married instead. Marriage is not that hard ( later in life barulah sukar...marriage lifelah). Dia cakaplah yang kawen kat sana susah sikit sebab mahal. Pura ceritalah kita ada mas kawen ngan hadiah hantaran. Dia surprised lahkan reason lelaki kena bayar mas kawen. ( nak kena explain ke kat korang? takyahlah eh..) Then aku cakap takleh dok serumah ngan lelaki sebab taknak perkara buruk terjadi..again she was surprised.

Soalan : Why people look at us?

Maksudnyer..mengapa orang 2 kat mesia nie suka tengok depa ...aku rasa maksud dia kalau dia pergi pantai kut..aku bagi reason paling senang," Sebab european babes are gorgeous!" dia gelak jer.. Dia tanya lagi memang takleh pakai seksi kat sini ke...then aku cakap tak elok memanglah ada ramai orang pakai tapi tak manisla. It's not our tradition regardless what ever our religions are. ( called me wat eva consevative ke apa ke...definitely that's not our culture!). you have to wear decent clothes.

Aku rasa sekatat tu je kut...pasal islam. Riso aku ..lepas tu dia tanya tentang sistem education kat sini. DIa cakap orang Malaysia friendly. Orang tak kenal kat perhentian bas pun leh jadi kawan. Kat finland susah nak cakap ngan orang tak kenal kira dianggap tak friendly la..tapi dia cakap , depa ni macam shy nak cakap ngan strangers. Kat mesia makcik dok sebelah dalam bas pun le jadi teman nak berkongsi masalah...lepas tu ,kami bercakap tentang musik. Cakap pasal Ville Valo vocalist kumpulan HIM. AKu cakap dia cute ooih rupanya minah tu pun minat gak ..Dia cakap kawan dia kenal Ville valo tu tapi dia tak kenal. Tapi dia minat gak. Dia minat semua musik. AKu terangkan sikit pasal nasyid.. aku rasa cam betul statement aku kut.. " nasyid is like gospel music sort of like that" Pura like to listen to it..pura suka lagu ramli sarip gak!! ( lupa nak explain kat dia ). pUra lak cakap aku suka weird music aku rasa lagu yang tak tembus pasaran mesialah.. cam kumpulan nasyid atau kumpulan rock luar skit dari UK ke US ke. camtula..bulan nie bulan Dansk!!

Si Gadis Finland + Bahasa Melayu

2007-01-28T02:49:00.000+08:00

dengar lagu billy talent:fallen leaves dan Lily Allen!!
Tempat: Makmal Minyak Sawit
Waktu: 2.30-4.15 pm

Masa tu tengah buat lab eksperimen minyak. Marjo tu student exchange dari finland kebetulan satu group ngan aku dan lab partner aku dari first year si Safuraala sapa lagi... dan si efa budak junior.

Masa tengah timbang minyak, marjo tiba-tiba bertanya , " Marina...are u a muslim?"
Aku terkejut lak habis lingkup apa yang aku timbang. Almaklumlah takleh concentrate kat timbangan tu. Aku kalau kerja lab takleh cakap kang rosak semua benda ..ehe..he.. Aku pun terus wat muka blur ( seperti selalu..) dan pointedlah jari aku kat tudung turki aka batik ( uniform aku tu ). "Of course I am..I'm wearing headscarf, of course I am a muslim.." aku cakap sambil tersenyum. ( mulalah sesi broken english aku...)

Aku tanya," Aren't there a few muslims in Finland?" ( cause aku tau sorang jerla..hehe so kira adalah tu orang Islam kat sanala..)
" yeah...but it's so hard to find. Only a few of them but I couldn't recognize them."
Aku pun cakap "Ehmm...jews also have to wear headscarf too but they have option to wear a wig.But we can't. You're Christian,aight? ( hehee wat ala2 hip hop..ah..pasal wig tu aku terbaca dalam surat khabar jew lah depa komplain sebab import rambut dari india takut rambut tu tak "kosher..halal" ) She answered," yeah.." dia ni seorang gadis yang sopan-santun dan lemah-lembut bukan cam aku yang pasti... " What Christian are u? Protestant? Catholic? Roman Catholic? Anglican?..." Dia pun mula berfikir untuk cakap sebab nak kena translatelah .. Tapi dia cakap dia bukan katolikla."

Perbincangan terganggu sekejap sebab aku nak buat eksperimen dan dia pun sebenarnya takut nak tanya sebab dia ingat aku kisah kalau orang tanya pasal agama aku..Kan islam dikaitkan ngan keganasanlah apalah.. Dia takut aku mengamuk kut.ahahaha.

later lepas buat preparation titration kena tinggal bahan2 tersebut dalam tempat gelap selama satu jamlah masa tulah aku ambil untuk berbual tentang agama tapi takdalah direkt sebab dia tak start cakap lagi jadi kami berbincang pasal BM dulu sebab dia ada test BM keesokan harinya. Aku dan pura ajar perkataan baru dan dia ajar grammar bhs finnish. Cam senang je bahasa finnish ni. Sebutan dia pun kira oklah dekat2 ngan german dan melayu kira baca ikut suku kata ( setakat inilah dari apa yang diajar olehnya . Bahasa semua susah mana senang..)

" Malay is hard not like english because I never heard of it before."
"yeah...same with german. I can't catch what are they saying." ( Ni baru german biasa je takda dialek lagi pun tak paham, ari tu dengar dialek Austria memang lagi tak paham. Orang tu cakap macam nak makan balik semua huruf..hehehe). Kami pun buatlah revision untuk ujian midterm dia. Perkataan baru yang aku ngan Safura ajar ..ehmm ajar penjodoh bilangan dan perkataan baru pandai dan bodoh.. Aku cuba berkomunikasi dalam BM tapi cakap perlahan2. Dia boleh tangkap dan agak pahamlah.Dia cakap dia cuba pick up some Malay words semasa dengar student2 converse dalam Malay but because we speak too fast dia takleh tangkap.

[sambung bhgn dua Gadis Finland + Islam]